This past month I started building a fence
I knew I was building something, i just didn't realize it was a fence
back to the fence in a minute
Maybe you've heard the story of the two brothers who lived next to each other with a adjoining property line
A tift arose, name calling began followed by insults
The first brother said, I will put an end to this and diverted a creek to create a stream between the property lines that could not be crossed
Of course, it was as much symbolic as it was physical
The message was, "don't come over here"
Time passed
One day a carpenter came to town looking for work and the second brother got this idea about hiring him to build a fence, to sort of "one up" him
He explained the project the the newly hired man
The carpenter said he understood and went off to work on the project as the second man left for work
When he returned later, to his shock, he saw the carpenter had used the materials to build a bridge, not a fence
More amazingly, the other brother was crossing the bridge thanking him for his willingness to begin restoring the relationship
they embraced
They asked the carpenter to stay and talk
He said he had many more bridges to build as he left
Guess you know who the carpenter is
Guess you know he likes bridges more than fences
He builds them
we still have to cross them, right?
I am tearing down my fence and using the materials to build a bridge
It's hard work
When I am done I will need to cross this bridge
Looking forward to the embrace on the other side
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Things comes in 3's?
My car had a tough week
In the past seven days this little camry has run over a squirrel, had a duck hit the windshield and just a couple nights ago a rather large deer ended the life of the left front light and blinker
I miss the lights for sure
They say things come in threes-right now that is fine.
Ever feel you are being bombarded from every direction?
Like no matter what direction you are headed you get hit?
Insecure about what might be around the next turn?
Going 65 miles an hour and having a deer run out in front of you...well, there is pretty much nothing you can do but buckle up
boom...and then silence
maybe 10 seconds...before I noticed my wife's "that could have been a whole lot worse look"
She was right
That deer could have come right through the windshield
Our whole lives could have changed
Still, this moment could have led to a lot of anger about inconvenience or money or time
Two weeks ago a friend challenged us to write down 10 things per day we were thankful for...every day 10 new things
It is not as hard as I would have thought
I have a lot to be thankful for...a lot....a real lot...a real real lot
Know what I mean?
This accident, this moment...it is somehow leading us even more toward a spirit of gratitude and thanksgiving
In the past seven days this little camry has run over a squirrel, had a duck hit the windshield and just a couple nights ago a rather large deer ended the life of the left front light and blinker
I miss the lights for sure
They say things come in threes-right now that is fine.
Ever feel you are being bombarded from every direction?
Like no matter what direction you are headed you get hit?
Insecure about what might be around the next turn?
Going 65 miles an hour and having a deer run out in front of you...well, there is pretty much nothing you can do but buckle up
boom...and then silence
maybe 10 seconds...before I noticed my wife's "that could have been a whole lot worse look"
She was right
That deer could have come right through the windshield
Our whole lives could have changed
Still, this moment could have led to a lot of anger about inconvenience or money or time
Two weeks ago a friend challenged us to write down 10 things per day we were thankful for...every day 10 new things
It is not as hard as I would have thought
I have a lot to be thankful for...a lot....a real lot...a real real lot
Know what I mean?
This accident, this moment...it is somehow leading us even more toward a spirit of gratitude and thanksgiving
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Remembering daily
I would like to open a dialog box for anyone to post, even anonymously, practical ways you have found in your daily life to remember God
Some of the worst feelings in my life have been lying in bed at night and admitting to God that I had not thought about Him that day
I have a few ideas to share, but desire to be a learner with you
What are you learning?
Some of the worst feelings in my life have been lying in bed at night and admitting to God that I had not thought about Him that day
I have a few ideas to share, but desire to be a learner with you
What are you learning?
Monday, November 3, 2008
Remember
It started a couple months ago with a call from one of my best friends in life suggesting a visit to a special place God had met him 29 years ago
A couple days ago we both knelt down there and thanked God for the words he spoke that day... and requested that God continue to keep speaking into our lives for our remaining years
A special moment then
A special moment back then
Are you like me and ever sense a need to “mark the moment”
In Old testament times God would tell His people to set up stones to remember the great miracles He did for them-like crossing the Red Sea and delivering them in battle
Later on, we read these interesting statements from those who tell the story of Jesus that “after these things, His disciples remembered…”
I used to think, how could these people ever forget these things of God? How could they forget a miracle?
As I get older, I begin to understand a little clearer
As I get older, I forget more...and I can get pretty frustrated with my memory
I get mad that God made me this way sometimes
A friend shared a thought with me once that forgetting is a gift from God
Huh?
He suggested if we remembered all the things we had done wrong, all the evil thoughts we process, all the___________ (fill it in) we do, we might possibly go insane
Could being built with a “forgetter” in our brain be a measure of His love?
Could this be why He says, and even commands, to build an altar to remember?
Or to write His commandments on our doorposts?
Maybe that’s why my buddy and I sensed His closeness by that tree last week
We were remembering His touch in our lives 29 years ago
Maybe I need to do this more often-remember what He has done in my life
Mark the moments tangibly
A couple days ago we both knelt down there and thanked God for the words he spoke that day... and requested that God continue to keep speaking into our lives for our remaining years
A special moment then
A special moment back then
Are you like me and ever sense a need to “mark the moment”
In Old testament times God would tell His people to set up stones to remember the great miracles He did for them-like crossing the Red Sea and delivering them in battle
Later on, we read these interesting statements from those who tell the story of Jesus that “after these things, His disciples remembered…”
I used to think, how could these people ever forget these things of God? How could they forget a miracle?
As I get older, I begin to understand a little clearer
As I get older, I forget more...and I can get pretty frustrated with my memory
I get mad that God made me this way sometimes
A friend shared a thought with me once that forgetting is a gift from God
Huh?
He suggested if we remembered all the things we had done wrong, all the evil thoughts we process, all the___________ (fill it in) we do, we might possibly go insane
Could being built with a “forgetter” in our brain be a measure of His love?
Could this be why He says, and even commands, to build an altar to remember?
Or to write His commandments on our doorposts?
Maybe that’s why my buddy and I sensed His closeness by that tree last week
We were remembering His touch in our lives 29 years ago
Maybe I need to do this more often-remember what He has done in my life
Mark the moments tangibly
Friday, October 17, 2008
I-35
I remember watching TV last August 1st when the nation was captivated by the tragedy of the I-35 bridge collapse outside in Minneapolis. Several died and 145 were injured. Most experts thought it could have been worse
Only minutes later, the questions began, “How did this happen?” and within days began unsettling news reports that 30-50% of our nations bridges may be structurally unsafe
Fifty percent? Even a 10% estimate would make many of us nervous
Reasons such as cost cutting, cutting corners on inferior steel and concrete, time constraints, budget cuts, workmanship are all sited as to possible reasons for unsafe bridges in our country and the I-35 collapse
Somewhere along the way of each bridge built, decisions are made in regards to the design, cost, materials and workmanship that determine how long the bridge will last structurally
Once construction is done, a maintenance schedule is set and the bridge is opened for travel
On I-35 last August, travel stopped dead for 13 people
Something went very wrong
Makes me think
About my life and the bridges of my relationships
I see a relationship like a bridge-me on one side and someone on the other
Questions begin to emerge like:
*As I look around my life, how strong are my relationships?
*What is the foundation of my relationships?
*Do I take shortcuts with others or do I invest my best?
*Do I have strong foundations so they withstand the tough weather that often blows through my life?
*Am I surprised when a friendship goes south?
*Am I prepared to be the kind of friend others deserve?
I have been hanging with a group of guys the past 10+ years
We have been through a lot together
The best and worst of times
Together
I am learning a few things that have made these bridges what they are today:
*I need to decide daily to think the best of them
*I need to invest some of my best time and talents with these friends
*I need to be willing to let them know me and risk love once I am fully known
*when the issues come up, I decide to fully work through them
Some look at our friendship and think- easy
We know differently
Any good relationship takes (a lot) of work
In fact, I often tell others "I do not have a close friend I have not had a HUGE problem with" or, more likely, them with me
It’s like the person who needs to get their jaw broken and reset to be right. It’s really painful to go through, but once it’s healed and fits right, it’s stronger than before and finally works the way it was intended
I can’t say I have ever wanted to get my relational “Jaw broken”, but now I see why it has been good for me
Seems like it often comes down to making a choice-work through it or pretend it doesn’t exist
The latter almost inevitably leads to an I-35 incident
The former almost always makes the bridge stronger
Can’t say it’s my first choice of activities on a Friday night...sitting down and working through an issue...but later on...yup
A friend recently shared this quote from Nabeel Jabbour, "The stronger the bridge of relationship, the more truth you can take across it."
I have been thinking about it for days
In my closer, stronger relationships, I am willing to listen. In relationships where trust is not as good, I am almost deaf
When the bridge is stronger, I accept truth spoken in to my life. Listening and learning seems natural. Change happens
I hear because there is level of real trust. A trust based on the fact I am loved even though I do not have it all together. A genuine care for bringing out the best in me
I’d like to build good, strong bridges and as many as possible
I think I am learning the process and what it takes to build a decent bridge
Maybe you have thoughts about building relational bridges too...
Only minutes later, the questions began, “How did this happen?” and within days began unsettling news reports that 30-50% of our nations bridges may be structurally unsafe
Fifty percent? Even a 10% estimate would make many of us nervous
Reasons such as cost cutting, cutting corners on inferior steel and concrete, time constraints, budget cuts, workmanship are all sited as to possible reasons for unsafe bridges in our country and the I-35 collapse
Somewhere along the way of each bridge built, decisions are made in regards to the design, cost, materials and workmanship that determine how long the bridge will last structurally
Once construction is done, a maintenance schedule is set and the bridge is opened for travel
On I-35 last August, travel stopped dead for 13 people
Something went very wrong
Makes me think
About my life and the bridges of my relationships
I see a relationship like a bridge-me on one side and someone on the other
Questions begin to emerge like:
*As I look around my life, how strong are my relationships?
*What is the foundation of my relationships?
*Do I take shortcuts with others or do I invest my best?
*Do I have strong foundations so they withstand the tough weather that often blows through my life?
*Am I surprised when a friendship goes south?
*Am I prepared to be the kind of friend others deserve?
I have been hanging with a group of guys the past 10+ years
We have been through a lot together
The best and worst of times
Together
I am learning a few things that have made these bridges what they are today:
*I need to decide daily to think the best of them
*I need to invest some of my best time and talents with these friends
*I need to be willing to let them know me and risk love once I am fully known
*when the issues come up, I decide to fully work through them
Some look at our friendship and think- easy
We know differently
Any good relationship takes (a lot) of work
In fact, I often tell others "I do not have a close friend I have not had a HUGE problem with" or, more likely, them with me
It’s like the person who needs to get their jaw broken and reset to be right. It’s really painful to go through, but once it’s healed and fits right, it’s stronger than before and finally works the way it was intended
I can’t say I have ever wanted to get my relational “Jaw broken”, but now I see why it has been good for me
Seems like it often comes down to making a choice-work through it or pretend it doesn’t exist
The latter almost inevitably leads to an I-35 incident
The former almost always makes the bridge stronger
Can’t say it’s my first choice of activities on a Friday night...sitting down and working through an issue...but later on...yup
A friend recently shared this quote from Nabeel Jabbour, "The stronger the bridge of relationship, the more truth you can take across it."
I have been thinking about it for days
In my closer, stronger relationships, I am willing to listen. In relationships where trust is not as good, I am almost deaf
When the bridge is stronger, I accept truth spoken in to my life. Listening and learning seems natural. Change happens
I hear because there is level of real trust. A trust based on the fact I am loved even though I do not have it all together. A genuine care for bringing out the best in me
I’d like to build good, strong bridges and as many as possible
I think I am learning the process and what it takes to build a decent bridge
Maybe you have thoughts about building relational bridges too...
Saturday, September 27, 2008
are you jesus?
This has been a question that has come up on several of our porch night discussions. Welcome your comments on this thought.
Apparently, according to Mr. Google, the author of this is unknown.
Excuse Me, Are You Jesus?
A few years ago a group of salesmen went to a regional sales convention in Chicago . They had assured their wives that they would be home in plenty of time for Friday night's dinner.
In their rush, with tickets and briefcases, one of these salesmen inadvertently kicked over a table which held a display of apples. Apples flew everywhere. Without stopping or looking back, they all managed to reach the plane in time for their nearly missed boarding. ALL BUT ONE !!!
He paused, took a deep breath, and experienced a twinge of compassion for the girl whose apple stand had been overturned. He told his buddies to go on without him, waved good-bye, told one of them to call his wife when they arrived at their home destination and explain his taking a later flight.
Then he returned to the terminal where the apples were all over the terminal floor. He was glad he did.
The 16 year old girl was totally blind! She was softly crying, tears running down her cheeks in frustration, and at the same time helplessly groping for her spilled produce as the crowd swirled about her, no one stopping and no one to care for her plight.
The salesman knelt on the floor with her, gathered up the apples, put them back on the table and helped organize her display. As he did this, he noticed that many of them had become battered and bruised; these he set aside in another basket.
When he had finished, he pulled out his wallet and said to the girl, "Here, please take this $40 for the damage we did. Are you okay?" She nodded through her tears. He continued on with, "I hope we didn't spoil your day too badly."
As the salesman started to walk away, the bewildered blind girl called out to him, "Mister...." He paused and turned to look back into those blind eyes. She continued, "Are you Jesus?"
He stopped in mid-stride, and he wondered. Then slowly he made his way to catch the later flight with that question burning and bouncing about in his soul: "Are you Jesus?"
Do people mistake you for Jesus? That's our Destiny, is it not? To be so much like Jesus that people cannot tell the difference as we live and interact with a world that is blind to His love, life and grace.
If we claim to know Him, we should live, walk and act as He would. Knowing Him is more than simply quoting Scripture and going to church. It's actually living the Word as life unfolds day to day.
Apparently, according to Mr. Google, the author of this is unknown.
Excuse Me, Are You Jesus?
A few years ago a group of salesmen went to a regional sales convention in Chicago . They had assured their wives that they would be home in plenty of time for Friday night's dinner.
In their rush, with tickets and briefcases, one of these salesmen inadvertently kicked over a table which held a display of apples. Apples flew everywhere. Without stopping or looking back, they all managed to reach the plane in time for their nearly missed boarding. ALL BUT ONE !!!
He paused, took a deep breath, and experienced a twinge of compassion for the girl whose apple stand had been overturned. He told his buddies to go on without him, waved good-bye, told one of them to call his wife when they arrived at their home destination and explain his taking a later flight.
Then he returned to the terminal where the apples were all over the terminal floor. He was glad he did.
The 16 year old girl was totally blind! She was softly crying, tears running down her cheeks in frustration, and at the same time helplessly groping for her spilled produce as the crowd swirled about her, no one stopping and no one to care for her plight.
The salesman knelt on the floor with her, gathered up the apples, put them back on the table and helped organize her display. As he did this, he noticed that many of them had become battered and bruised; these he set aside in another basket.
When he had finished, he pulled out his wallet and said to the girl, "Here, please take this $40 for the damage we did. Are you okay?" She nodded through her tears. He continued on with, "I hope we didn't spoil your day too badly."
As the salesman started to walk away, the bewildered blind girl called out to him, "Mister...." He paused and turned to look back into those blind eyes. She continued, "Are you Jesus?"
He stopped in mid-stride, and he wondered. Then slowly he made his way to catch the later flight with that question burning and bouncing about in his soul: "Are you Jesus?"
Do people mistake you for Jesus? That's our Destiny, is it not? To be so much like Jesus that people cannot tell the difference as we live and interact with a world that is blind to His love, life and grace.
If we claim to know Him, we should live, walk and act as He would. Knowing Him is more than simply quoting Scripture and going to church. It's actually living the Word as life unfolds day to day.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Pace
Four times I have tried to sit down and write this thought the past two days
I am laughing at myself as I start again
You'll see why in a moment
I am 21 days through an acknowledged 35 day period of life where I am so overbooked and living with a heartbeat that is not normal. Sleep is periodic and restless.
Maybe you've had one of these seasons in your life?
You see it coming, you brace, you grind it out...you want to quit, but...
In the midst of this, I found myself in one of those "moments" a couple days ago.
It was like I woke up for a second and...
In this moment, I saw where I was, and it was a place I am not sure I have been.
Most of my life I have been a person who set boundaries, limits, guidelines to keep the pace of life at a regular beat.
Friends have told me that by the way I live I have helped them slow down to a healthier pace of life and to prioritize their faith, family, work and community.
My wife and I have worked hard on this-what to say Yes and No to in our lives
I imagine you know what I am talking about is not easy
Back to "the moment"
I saw myself walking beside a fast moving river at a leisurely pace. The flowers were sweet and occasionally I stopped to look closely at them. The air was clean and there was a soft calming breeze blowing.
I could feel the power in the river and people would come by would come by on rafts, loving the white water and the adventure.
They didn't seem to notice me.
All of the sudden, I realized I was no longer on the riverbank, but I was in the current-and I could not get back to shore. I was floating along and looking for the edge-but it was far away and I could not get out. The river was too powerful for me. My body was being beaten by the rocks in the river and I was gasping for breath.
This picture is true about my life this day.
Ever felt that way?
The past few weeks I have met a new friend who has taught me something important
He was in a terrible accident a few years ago that left him in a coma. He is strong and courageous but still has a difficult time speaking. When he speaks to me, his tone is very low. He takes minutes to put together sentences.
His pace is different from mine
I am laughing at myself as I start again
You'll see why in a moment
I am 21 days through an acknowledged 35 day period of life where I am so overbooked and living with a heartbeat that is not normal. Sleep is periodic and restless.
Maybe you've had one of these seasons in your life?
You see it coming, you brace, you grind it out...you want to quit, but...
In the midst of this, I found myself in one of those "moments" a couple days ago.
It was like I woke up for a second and...
In this moment, I saw where I was, and it was a place I am not sure I have been.
Most of my life I have been a person who set boundaries, limits, guidelines to keep the pace of life at a regular beat.
Friends have told me that by the way I live I have helped them slow down to a healthier pace of life and to prioritize their faith, family, work and community.
My wife and I have worked hard on this-what to say Yes and No to in our lives
I imagine you know what I am talking about is not easy
Back to "the moment"
I saw myself walking beside a fast moving river at a leisurely pace. The flowers were sweet and occasionally I stopped to look closely at them. The air was clean and there was a soft calming breeze blowing.
I could feel the power in the river and people would come by would come by on rafts, loving the white water and the adventure.
They didn't seem to notice me.
All of the sudden, I realized I was no longer on the riverbank, but I was in the current-and I could not get back to shore. I was floating along and looking for the edge-but it was far away and I could not get out. The river was too powerful for me. My body was being beaten by the rocks in the river and I was gasping for breath.
This picture is true about my life this day.
Ever felt that way?
The past few weeks I have met a new friend who has taught me something important
He was in a terrible accident a few years ago that left him in a coma. He is strong and courageous but still has a difficult time speaking. When he speaks to me, his tone is very low. He takes minutes to put together sentences.
His pace is different from mine
To be in relationship to him, I have to slow down.
When I do, it is beautiful. He is a wonderful young man.
If I am in the river, I can't hear him-and for that matter, I can't hear anybody. It's too loud out there.
I am swimming for the bank.
It might take me a few days to get there, but that's where I am headed.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Captain
A friend told me last year that one of the greatest things i am giving my time to is coaching this high school golf team in my city.
A couple weeks ago I am sure I did not believe this and was on the cusp of bagging the whole thing due to a litany of circumstances and obligations. I told myself to hang on one more day which turned in two and here I am.
On my way home from our match on Thursday night I think maybe what my friend said last year may just be true. I found myself in a very unique place. Very unique.
One of my players went through maybe the hardest experience that can happen as a competitor. He played the best round of his high school career and as my new captain was leading his team to an important victory.
In his elation and joy, he became distracted and forgot to check his scorecard thoroughly. He was disqualified for signing an incorrect scorecard.
In five minutes he went from the top of the world to total despair.
His world went upside down. His smile was replaced with a feeling that only a few know.
The thing is, I know that feeling.
Twenty seven years ago I lived in that moment as a college golfer.
Just appointed as captain. Team was winning. I played my best round in college. I forgot to sign my card. I was disqualified. Our team went from first to eighth place at the most important tournament of the year.
I went back to my hotel room and cried for 30 minutes. I actually cannot remember crying before this time in my life. Once I started, I could not stop. I soaked my pillow. No one could console me. No one really understood what happened and no words would comfort me. There was just hurt and embarrassment and pain. It took me weeks to move on.
When I saw my captain, I knew exactly what he was thinking and feeling. Exactly.
I knew because I had walked in his shoes.
Still, I asked God for the perfect words he needed to hear in this moment.
I shared this story with him. I told him this will hurt-a lot. Pain is there for a reason and do not deny it. Learn from it and you will be a better man for life.
More importantly, I told him that no matter what he did I would never love him any more than right now. I told him that no matter what he did I would never love him any less either. My love is not conditioned on his performance or mistakes.
This truth took me years to learn about God. His love is not conditional. He sees the best in me and thinks the best of me. He knows I will make mistakes and feel pain and consequences from them.
I wanted my captain to hear these words and to know where they come from. Not from me, but from Jesus. The Jesus that lives in me and is teaching me daily.
Now I know why I went through this pain 27 years ago now.
God had been prepping me to be the exact person who could speak to my captain.
His eyes said that he trusted me. He received these words of truth from me.
I think God is doing things like this all the time. Divine meetings.
There is someone who needs to hear my (our) story of hurt and pain and joy to help bring healing and restoration in their life.
God desires availability, not ability.
Today, I commit myself to being available again. Amen.
A couple weeks ago I am sure I did not believe this and was on the cusp of bagging the whole thing due to a litany of circumstances and obligations. I told myself to hang on one more day which turned in two and here I am.
On my way home from our match on Thursday night I think maybe what my friend said last year may just be true. I found myself in a very unique place. Very unique.
One of my players went through maybe the hardest experience that can happen as a competitor. He played the best round of his high school career and as my new captain was leading his team to an important victory.
In his elation and joy, he became distracted and forgot to check his scorecard thoroughly. He was disqualified for signing an incorrect scorecard.
In five minutes he went from the top of the world to total despair.
His world went upside down. His smile was replaced with a feeling that only a few know.
The thing is, I know that feeling.
Twenty seven years ago I lived in that moment as a college golfer.
Just appointed as captain. Team was winning. I played my best round in college. I forgot to sign my card. I was disqualified. Our team went from first to eighth place at the most important tournament of the year.
I went back to my hotel room and cried for 30 minutes. I actually cannot remember crying before this time in my life. Once I started, I could not stop. I soaked my pillow. No one could console me. No one really understood what happened and no words would comfort me. There was just hurt and embarrassment and pain. It took me weeks to move on.
When I saw my captain, I knew exactly what he was thinking and feeling. Exactly.
I knew because I had walked in his shoes.
Still, I asked God for the perfect words he needed to hear in this moment.
I shared this story with him. I told him this will hurt-a lot. Pain is there for a reason and do not deny it. Learn from it and you will be a better man for life.
More importantly, I told him that no matter what he did I would never love him any more than right now. I told him that no matter what he did I would never love him any less either. My love is not conditioned on his performance or mistakes.
This truth took me years to learn about God. His love is not conditional. He sees the best in me and thinks the best of me. He knows I will make mistakes and feel pain and consequences from them.
I wanted my captain to hear these words and to know where they come from. Not from me, but from Jesus. The Jesus that lives in me and is teaching me daily.
Now I know why I went through this pain 27 years ago now.
God had been prepping me to be the exact person who could speak to my captain.
His eyes said that he trusted me. He received these words of truth from me.
I think God is doing things like this all the time. Divine meetings.
There is someone who needs to hear my (our) story of hurt and pain and joy to help bring healing and restoration in their life.
God desires availability, not ability.
Today, I commit myself to being available again. Amen.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Thinking about It
Last night I went to a viewing for a friend who died unexpectedly this week. As the family gathered around there was a underlying quiet question, "why did this happen?"
He was to be married shortly to a close friend of our family. He was young-younger than my 47 years of life. He was the youngest of the three siblings. He had just retired and had so much to look forward to with a new wife and various opportunities.
As I left, I felt for this family and all the pain they are going through.
I also left thinking. Just thinking. Pondering. Wondering.
How often do I really do just that? Think. Wonder. Ponder. Examine.
A month ago I was in a similar place.
I was visiting the grave site of my grandfather and uncle.
They were buried in a cemetery in Pocatella Idaho near a golf course my grandpa built.
I had visited here before, maybe 6-8 years ago. But something was different this time. Maybe I am growing up or just getting older. Maybe it was that we some extra time to just wander around. Maybe it had to do with the previous day visiting a place my parents told me they would like to be placed when their years are done.
Or perhaps it is just because both my Uncle and my Grandpa have the exact name as me.
See, my name, my exact name, is on both those stones.
Not only that, but there is plenty of open space nearby.
If I don't pause here and now to think about IT, when will I?
It's beyond cliche' to say life is busy.
I can't be the only one to feel a sense that (my) life is going quickly in a direction that feels like a fast paced river.
What if I need to change boats?
Or even Rivers?
Sometime I even wonder if the river is going the right direction-this culture can have quite a pull on trying to live for God's kingdom values!
Ever feel like this?
You know, it's not death that scares me. What scares me is not living life.
It's not being true to be all I have been created to be. A human being. Not a human doing. Created in His image. Created to be His workmanship. Created to love Him with all my being. Every minute. Every day. To live a life of great adventure as His child.
I know I cannot control the day God brings me home.
But I do have a say, a choice, what gets my time, attention and energy this very day.
But I have to stop and think about IT.
He was to be married shortly to a close friend of our family. He was young-younger than my 47 years of life. He was the youngest of the three siblings. He had just retired and had so much to look forward to with a new wife and various opportunities.
As I left, I felt for this family and all the pain they are going through.
I also left thinking. Just thinking. Pondering. Wondering.
How often do I really do just that? Think. Wonder. Ponder. Examine.
A month ago I was in a similar place.
I was visiting the grave site of my grandfather and uncle.
They were buried in a cemetery in Pocatella Idaho near a golf course my grandpa built.
I had visited here before, maybe 6-8 years ago. But something was different this time. Maybe I am growing up or just getting older. Maybe it was that we some extra time to just wander around. Maybe it had to do with the previous day visiting a place my parents told me they would like to be placed when their years are done.
Or perhaps it is just because both my Uncle and my Grandpa have the exact name as me.
See, my name, my exact name, is on both those stones.
Not only that, but there is plenty of open space nearby.
If I don't pause here and now to think about IT, when will I?
It's beyond cliche' to say life is busy.
I can't be the only one to feel a sense that (my) life is going quickly in a direction that feels like a fast paced river.
What if I need to change boats?
Or even Rivers?
Sometime I even wonder if the river is going the right direction-this culture can have quite a pull on trying to live for God's kingdom values!
Ever feel like this?
You know, it's not death that scares me. What scares me is not living life.
It's not being true to be all I have been created to be. A human being. Not a human doing. Created in His image. Created to be His workmanship. Created to love Him with all my being. Every minute. Every day. To live a life of great adventure as His child.
I know I cannot control the day God brings me home.
But I do have a say, a choice, what gets my time, attention and energy this very day.
But I have to stop and think about IT.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
whats important
In the middle of a trip right now in china.
Gonna talk out loud for a sec.
been planning this trip for 18 months and on point for close to 80 friends. Pressure. Not a lot of relaxing in my life this moment.
All this time I have had expectations of what I think should happen and what I think God should make happen. And I have invested a fair amount of time, thinking and money in this event.
So what happens? Very little of what I expected for sure. Change. Change. Change. More change.
What do I do? Recalibrate? Change? Be Frustrated? All the above and more?
What is important I am (re) learning again is to drop what I think is important and tap in to what God is doing. That will count.
In the midst of leaning in to this process I am amazed at what He does. I am having some incredible conversations. I am speaking some words I did not expect that have helped others. A new friends life, who was not in the "mix" is having his life changed. I am connecting in unexpected ways with my son. I am seeing some cool things come because of the different size of a group. I am seeing some team unity that is affecting many volunteers.
I am seeing things differently for sure. I am and will continue to recalibrate daily.
My report will look different from the goals set 18 months and even 18 days ago.
I am discovering what is really important-the hard way. It's cool.
Gonna talk out loud for a sec.
been planning this trip for 18 months and on point for close to 80 friends. Pressure. Not a lot of relaxing in my life this moment.
All this time I have had expectations of what I think should happen and what I think God should make happen. And I have invested a fair amount of time, thinking and money in this event.
So what happens? Very little of what I expected for sure. Change. Change. Change. More change.
What do I do? Recalibrate? Change? Be Frustrated? All the above and more?
What is important I am (re) learning again is to drop what I think is important and tap in to what God is doing. That will count.
In the midst of leaning in to this process I am amazed at what He does. I am having some incredible conversations. I am speaking some words I did not expect that have helped others. A new friends life, who was not in the "mix" is having his life changed. I am connecting in unexpected ways with my son. I am seeing some cool things come because of the different size of a group. I am seeing some team unity that is affecting many volunteers.
I am seeing things differently for sure. I am and will continue to recalibrate daily.
My report will look different from the goals set 18 months and even 18 days ago.
I am discovering what is really important-the hard way. It's cool.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Ocean
I am noticing that we, a humans, have an interesting relationship with the ocean.
I love the Ocean and this past week got a 24 hour "fix" with my helpmate.
There seems to be something in me that is drawn to the sand and the water when I have a choice for a day off or holiday. When I need to reconnect-or have my soul restored-I rarely choose the mall or downtown.
I do not think I am alone in this choice.
So last week I woke up early for the sunrise-a rarity for this late night porch boy.
The Ocean is speaking to me as I stare at this beautiful sunrise over Ocean City, Maryland.
This ocean is really big. Really big. In relationship to me...I feel soooo small.
There is some serious power out there. There is capacity for things like Tsunamis and floods, yet I can sit here on the edge and enjoy the "peaceful" waves. Sort of living right on the edge and it feels so right.
I am drawn to this power even though there is risk. It seems the risk is nothing compared to the restoration and connectedness as my toes touch sand and water and waves.
There is a lot of power harnessed very close to me. There is peacefulness in the sand and soft waves but danger may not be far away.
My place in this world, ever small, is clear. My relationship with God makes sense. He is great. I am small. He is powerful. I am dependent. There is a big difference between the two of us. Really big difference. Really.
Yet, as I gaze out to an endless big bucket of water, I understand Him a little more.
He wants me to see Him.
He wants me to acknowledge Him.
He wants to have a relationship with me.
He's full of mystery.
And it's a dangerous relationship.
And as I step my toe in the water, I experience and understand this relationship clearer.
Know what I mean?
The Ocean is revealing Him to me today. It's so beautiful.
I love the Ocean and this past week got a 24 hour "fix" with my helpmate.
There seems to be something in me that is drawn to the sand and the water when I have a choice for a day off or holiday. When I need to reconnect-or have my soul restored-I rarely choose the mall or downtown.
I do not think I am alone in this choice.
So last week I woke up early for the sunrise-a rarity for this late night porch boy.
The Ocean is speaking to me as I stare at this beautiful sunrise over Ocean City, Maryland.
This ocean is really big. Really big. In relationship to me...I feel soooo small.
There is some serious power out there. There is capacity for things like Tsunamis and floods, yet I can sit here on the edge and enjoy the "peaceful" waves. Sort of living right on the edge and it feels so right.
I am drawn to this power even though there is risk. It seems the risk is nothing compared to the restoration and connectedness as my toes touch sand and water and waves.
There is a lot of power harnessed very close to me. There is peacefulness in the sand and soft waves but danger may not be far away.
My place in this world, ever small, is clear. My relationship with God makes sense. He is great. I am small. He is powerful. I am dependent. There is a big difference between the two of us. Really big difference. Really.
Yet, as I gaze out to an endless big bucket of water, I understand Him a little more.
He wants me to see Him.
He wants me to acknowledge Him.
He wants to have a relationship with me.
He's full of mystery.
And it's a dangerous relationship.
And as I step my toe in the water, I experience and understand this relationship clearer.
Know what I mean?
The Ocean is revealing Him to me today. It's so beautiful.
Jim trusts
I loved this story about trust and am posting it for discussion.
‘Jim,’ a vendor in New York City, set up shop and sold donuts and coffee to passerby as they went in and out of their office buildings. During the breakfast and lunch hours, Jim always had long lines of customers waiting. He noticed that the wait time discouraged many customers who left and went elsewhere. He also noticed that, as he was a one-man show, the biggest bottleneck preventing him from selling more donuts and coffee was the disproportionate amount of time it took to make change for his customers.
Finally, Jim simply put a small basket on the side of his stand filled with dollar bills and coins, trusting his customers to make their own change. Now you might think that customers would accidentally count wrong or intentionally take extra quarters form the basket, but what Jim found was the opposite: Most customers responded by being completely honest, often leaving him larger-than-normal tips. Also, he was able to move customers through at twice the pace because he didn’t have to make change. In addition, he found that his customers liked being trusted and kept coming back. By extending trust in this way, Jim was able to double his revenues without adding any new cost.
Q. When you are trusted, it makes a difference, doesn't it? Don't you love being trusted?
This story was taken from The Speed of Trust by Steven Covey.
‘Jim,’ a vendor in New York City, set up shop and sold donuts and coffee to passerby as they went in and out of their office buildings. During the breakfast and lunch hours, Jim always had long lines of customers waiting. He noticed that the wait time discouraged many customers who left and went elsewhere. He also noticed that, as he was a one-man show, the biggest bottleneck preventing him from selling more donuts and coffee was the disproportionate amount of time it took to make change for his customers.
Finally, Jim simply put a small basket on the side of his stand filled with dollar bills and coins, trusting his customers to make their own change. Now you might think that customers would accidentally count wrong or intentionally take extra quarters form the basket, but what Jim found was the opposite: Most customers responded by being completely honest, often leaving him larger-than-normal tips. Also, he was able to move customers through at twice the pace because he didn’t have to make change. In addition, he found that his customers liked being trusted and kept coming back. By extending trust in this way, Jim was able to double his revenues without adding any new cost.
Q. When you are trusted, it makes a difference, doesn't it? Don't you love being trusted?
This story was taken from The Speed of Trust by Steven Covey.
Friday, July 25, 2008
One of Those Days
Just 48 hours ago I was having one of "those days" if you know what I mean.
Seemed like nothing was going right and I felt so far from God. The weird thing was that it was a day when I needed God to be close and it seemed like I was begging for His nearness.
When I get frustrated I do one of two things. I will just work harder and not think about anything or else I will go work in my yard.
This day the grass needed to be cut so out to the mower I went. I actually like cutting the yard, there is a instant feeling of getting "something" done.
On the tractor I was having myself a good old pity party and whining inside about how little God cares about me. In the middle of this inner discussion, I looked up to see that my Crate Myrtle trees in the back yard had bloomed.
This may not sound like a big deal, but you have to understand I planted these three trees at least 7 years ago and this was the first time they had ever bloomed.
It was like God was saying, "I am still here, look at how I care for you. Look at how beautiful I am. Look at what I have for you. Look at how I speak to you and give you a beautiful present when you least expect it-or deserve it."
God spoke when I least deserved it-as a whined-and in a way that reaches my soul through His creation.
I just needed a little touch when I have "one of those days."
I give You thanks, God.
Seemed like nothing was going right and I felt so far from God. The weird thing was that it was a day when I needed God to be close and it seemed like I was begging for His nearness.
When I get frustrated I do one of two things. I will just work harder and not think about anything or else I will go work in my yard.
This day the grass needed to be cut so out to the mower I went. I actually like cutting the yard, there is a instant feeling of getting "something" done.
On the tractor I was having myself a good old pity party and whining inside about how little God cares about me. In the middle of this inner discussion, I looked up to see that my Crate Myrtle trees in the back yard had bloomed.
This may not sound like a big deal, but you have to understand I planted these three trees at least 7 years ago and this was the first time they had ever bloomed.
It was like God was saying, "I am still here, look at how I care for you. Look at how beautiful I am. Look at what I have for you. Look at how I speak to you and give you a beautiful present when you least expect it-or deserve it."
God spoke when I least deserved it-as a whined-and in a way that reaches my soul through His creation.
I just needed a little touch when I have "one of those days."
I give You thanks, God.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Rod of Trust
Psalm 23:4 “Fear not, for I am with you; Your rod and staff, they comfort me.”
Have I mentioned my fear of falling? Of Heights?
On our recent trip out west, our family took a day hike to beautiful Sawtooth Lake just outside Stanley, Idaho.
I did mention my fear, right?
On the way up the mountain, my dad reminded each of us to look for a hiking stick that would help us along the way.
I found this beautiful five foot branch that was light but strong and very straight. It had almost a natural handle at the four foot mark that my hand fit into perfectly. I even managed to whittle off a few protruding pieces to make it smooth.
At mile three my dad pulled me aside and told me to bring up the rear in case anyone had trouble on the upcoming ledge drop offs and switchbacks.
My heart switched into an new level of anxiety.
My knees get wobbly just thinking about steep drop offs at certain heights.
My mind recalled that I had been through worse before, plus I had this rod in my hand to steady me through the climb ahead.
For the next 20 or so minutes that rod would find a firm spot on the trail to steady me. That rod and I developed a little trust relationship during these minutes that lasted throughout the hike.
As we approached the end of the journey later in the day, I thought about this piece of wood in which I had placed my trust. It may sound a little silly, but the rod helped give me confidence to finish the course. Perhaps I may have thought differently if the stick would have broken and I had tumbled off the edge!
I think about several things I sort of implicitly trust on a regular basis that affect my life: like when an airplane takes off and I trust my life to a pilot who may be having a bad day. Like when I take a sharp turn in my car and trust that my axle or tires do not break. That a driver in an oncoming car on a two lane highway does not fall asleep and cross the line in to my lane. And so on…
It makes me realize I can live life with a multitude of fears and miss one the most beautiful places on earth at Sawtooth Lake. Not get in my car. Not get on the plane. Not drive on the windy roads to get to Idaho.
Life requires trust.
There is a kind of trust we have in others and things like a stick that require some wisdom.
Then there is a trust, an unconditional trust, that I must have in God. As David says in Psalm 23, that God is with me and that His rod and staff will comfort me.
I put my trust in Him.
He cares for me.
Life happens.
And sometimes it starts with picking up a stick.
Have I mentioned my fear of falling? Of Heights?
On our recent trip out west, our family took a day hike to beautiful Sawtooth Lake just outside Stanley, Idaho.
I did mention my fear, right?
On the way up the mountain, my dad reminded each of us to look for a hiking stick that would help us along the way.
I found this beautiful five foot branch that was light but strong and very straight. It had almost a natural handle at the four foot mark that my hand fit into perfectly. I even managed to whittle off a few protruding pieces to make it smooth.
At mile three my dad pulled me aside and told me to bring up the rear in case anyone had trouble on the upcoming ledge drop offs and switchbacks.
My heart switched into an new level of anxiety.
My knees get wobbly just thinking about steep drop offs at certain heights.
My mind recalled that I had been through worse before, plus I had this rod in my hand to steady me through the climb ahead.
For the next 20 or so minutes that rod would find a firm spot on the trail to steady me. That rod and I developed a little trust relationship during these minutes that lasted throughout the hike.
As we approached the end of the journey later in the day, I thought about this piece of wood in which I had placed my trust. It may sound a little silly, but the rod helped give me confidence to finish the course. Perhaps I may have thought differently if the stick would have broken and I had tumbled off the edge!
I think about several things I sort of implicitly trust on a regular basis that affect my life: like when an airplane takes off and I trust my life to a pilot who may be having a bad day. Like when I take a sharp turn in my car and trust that my axle or tires do not break. That a driver in an oncoming car on a two lane highway does not fall asleep and cross the line in to my lane. And so on…
It makes me realize I can live life with a multitude of fears and miss one the most beautiful places on earth at Sawtooth Lake. Not get in my car. Not get on the plane. Not drive on the windy roads to get to Idaho.
Life requires trust.
There is a kind of trust we have in others and things like a stick that require some wisdom.
Then there is a trust, an unconditional trust, that I must have in God. As David says in Psalm 23, that God is with me and that His rod and staff will comfort me.
I put my trust in Him.
He cares for me.
Life happens.
And sometimes it starts with picking up a stick.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
50 yards
It was maybe the most surreal 50 yards I have ever walked
50 yards for my my daughter to know the depths of how much I love her
50 yards for her to know just how proud I am of her
50 yards for her to know how much I believe in her and her decision this day
50 yards to meet the man who will love her the rest of his life
"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?
I looked in to her eyes, hugged her, kissed her and told her she will always have a place in my heart
I turned and faced Brandon and told him that "she is now yours. I trust you with her. Take good care of her."
I put her hand in his and sat next to my helpmate-the moment was over and the spotlight was where it should be-on Rachel and her soon to be husband
I had thought carefully over the past weeks about that moment and what I hoped to share
I wanted Brandon to know I trusted him with my daughter
Almost 25 years ago I stood where he did. Not just as a young man with great hopes and love and joy, but one desiring to know I could be trusted with my young lady, Carolyn
When I had asked for her hand in marriage, the normal questions came out. "Where will you live? How will you provide for her? What will you do with your life?" All good, practical questions I for which I had little specific answers
In the midst of that discussion I asked my soon to be father-in-law, "Do you trust me with your daughter?"
There was a pause and a nod. "Yes"
We had gotten to the "real" question behind the question. We now were working out the details together as we cared for his daughter, my soon to be wife, Carolyn together
This was my hope for Rachel with these final words to Brandon
As I reflect today on those last 50 yards with Rachel, this is one message I hope they cling to as Carolyn and I have: Trust is critical for intimacy, growth and friendship. It is given but can be lost. It is worth the risk and should be treasured deeply.
May our circle of trust be strong
50 yards for my my daughter to know the depths of how much I love her
50 yards for her to know just how proud I am of her
50 yards for her to know how much I believe in her and her decision this day
50 yards to meet the man who will love her the rest of his life
"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?
I looked in to her eyes, hugged her, kissed her and told her she will always have a place in my heart
I turned and faced Brandon and told him that "she is now yours. I trust you with her. Take good care of her."
I put her hand in his and sat next to my helpmate-the moment was over and the spotlight was where it should be-on Rachel and her soon to be husband
I had thought carefully over the past weeks about that moment and what I hoped to share
I wanted Brandon to know I trusted him with my daughter
Almost 25 years ago I stood where he did. Not just as a young man with great hopes and love and joy, but one desiring to know I could be trusted with my young lady, Carolyn
When I had asked for her hand in marriage, the normal questions came out. "Where will you live? How will you provide for her? What will you do with your life?" All good, practical questions I for which I had little specific answers
In the midst of that discussion I asked my soon to be father-in-law, "Do you trust me with your daughter?"
There was a pause and a nod. "Yes"
We had gotten to the "real" question behind the question. We now were working out the details together as we cared for his daughter, my soon to be wife, Carolyn together
This was my hope for Rachel with these final words to Brandon
The importance of trust
When he asked for her hands a few months ago we made sure he knew he was in the "circle of trust" in our family. He was invited into our family
Is it a risk to trust? Sure. Does trust take courage? Sure.As I reflect today on those last 50 yards with Rachel, this is one message I hope they cling to as Carolyn and I have: Trust is critical for intimacy, growth and friendship. It is given but can be lost. It is worth the risk and should be treasured deeply.
May our circle of trust be strong
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Opportunity for Freedom
Yesterday a few of us walked around our city asking God to let us see through His eyes what He is concerned about and get a pulse of His heart for His people where we live.
We ended up in front of a replica of the Liberty Bell at St. John's. Underneath a worn brass plate had the words, "In standing before this symbol you have the opportunity to dedicate yourself as did our founding fathers to the principles of individual freedom for which our nation stands."
An opportunity to dedicate myself to be a person of freedom.
When I think of freedom, a lot comes to my mind.
There is driving in a convertible.
There is appreciation for others who have fought in wars so that I can pursue God with little fear of persecution. The freedom of being a citizen here in the United States.
There is financial freedom.
But there is a deeper freedom that needs to be explored. It's the freedom Jesus speak about.
In the Scriptures there is this cool passage in Paul's letter to the church in Galatia. He tells us we are called to freedom, but warns us not to let our freedom turn in to an opportunity for the flesh (basically self centeredness). He says that by lovingly serving one another, freedom will be a part of our lives. In fact, all the Law, or guidelines God gives us, can be summed up in one statement, "you shall love your neighbor as yourself."
Freedom comes from giving yourself to others? In caring for them above yourself?
That sounds contrary to what many of us hear/do nowadays. Freedom in our society is like something you do for yourself, often at the expense of others.
Jesus' way seems so opposite.
My dad often pulls this thought from Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German pastor who died in a concentration camp under Hitler. He says "the greatest love we can have for our brother is their freedom." In other words, if we love someone and desire the best for them, we will come alongside them and help them anyway we can so they will be free.
Is Jesus' way really so different? I guess I have seen it work and come to believe His way and teaching in this area is true. When someone comes along and helps me through a difficult time or situation, my desire to "pay it forward" is very strong.
When I help and love others, there is a deep satisfaction that is hard to put words around.
My default button is set on a self-centeredness idea of freedom. Sometimes I need a jolt, like the one I had yesterday before at the Liberty Bell, to be reminded of the deeper desire to be a person of Freedom-a person who follows the way of Jesus and His way of freedom.
I am taking this opportunity today to dedicate myself to be a person who is about freedom.
Here is a little more of Bonhoeffer if you want to go deeper on this :
"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Gal. 6:2). Thus the law of Christ is a law of bearing. Bearing means forbearing and sustaining... The Christian must suffer and endure the brother. It is only when he is a burden that another person is really a brother and not merely an object to be manipulated. It is, first of all, the freedom of the other person that is a burden to the Christian. The freedom of the other person includes all that we mean by a person's nature, individuality, endowment. It also includes his weaknesses and oddities, which are such a trial to our patience, everything that produces frictions, conflicts, and collisions among us. Then, there is the abuse of that freedom that becomes a burden for the Christian."
We ended up in front of a replica of the Liberty Bell at St. John's. Underneath a worn brass plate had the words, "In standing before this symbol you have the opportunity to dedicate yourself as did our founding fathers to the principles of individual freedom for which our nation stands."
An opportunity to dedicate myself to be a person of freedom.
When I think of freedom, a lot comes to my mind.
There is driving in a convertible.
There is appreciation for others who have fought in wars so that I can pursue God with little fear of persecution. The freedom of being a citizen here in the United States.
There is financial freedom.
But there is a deeper freedom that needs to be explored. It's the freedom Jesus speak about.
In the Scriptures there is this cool passage in Paul's letter to the church in Galatia. He tells us we are called to freedom, but warns us not to let our freedom turn in to an opportunity for the flesh (basically self centeredness). He says that by lovingly serving one another, freedom will be a part of our lives. In fact, all the Law, or guidelines God gives us, can be summed up in one statement, "you shall love your neighbor as yourself."
Freedom comes from giving yourself to others? In caring for them above yourself?
That sounds contrary to what many of us hear/do nowadays. Freedom in our society is like something you do for yourself, often at the expense of others.
Jesus' way seems so opposite.
My dad often pulls this thought from Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German pastor who died in a concentration camp under Hitler. He says "the greatest love we can have for our brother is their freedom." In other words, if we love someone and desire the best for them, we will come alongside them and help them anyway we can so they will be free.
Is Jesus' way really so different? I guess I have seen it work and come to believe His way and teaching in this area is true. When someone comes along and helps me through a difficult time or situation, my desire to "pay it forward" is very strong.
When I help and love others, there is a deep satisfaction that is hard to put words around.
My default button is set on a self-centeredness idea of freedom. Sometimes I need a jolt, like the one I had yesterday before at the Liberty Bell, to be reminded of the deeper desire to be a person of Freedom-a person who follows the way of Jesus and His way of freedom.
I am taking this opportunity today to dedicate myself to be a person who is about freedom.
Here is a little more of Bonhoeffer if you want to go deeper on this :
"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Gal. 6:2). Thus the law of Christ is a law of bearing. Bearing means forbearing and sustaining... The Christian must suffer and endure the brother. It is only when he is a burden that another person is really a brother and not merely an object to be manipulated. It is, first of all, the freedom of the other person that is a burden to the Christian. The freedom of the other person includes all that we mean by a person's nature, individuality, endowment. It also includes his weaknesses and oddities, which are such a trial to our patience, everything that produces frictions, conflicts, and collisions among us. Then, there is the abuse of that freedom that becomes a burden for the Christian."
Friday, June 6, 2008
Getting Through It
Last night our Porch group welcomed back Tom from NC. It was as good an excuse as any to gather and discuss life, cigars, and Jesus’ place in our lives.
Besides Tom the Alum, the circle included a new friend from New Zealand, transplants from Kansas, Colorado and Montana and even a few locals from right here in Maryland.
And when the porch is “open”, it is always interesting to see what thoughts and questions enter the discussion.
Last night what kept surfacing was along the idea of “what are the signs/signals along the path of life where you can tell you are a Man?”
Phrases such as: it’s a lifelong process, taking responsibility, having courage, owning your life, having something bigger than yourself to fight for all entered the circle of discussion.
My son Michael brought up an idea along the lines that “being able to get through it” is a sign you are becoming a man. He said we all have an “it”, and used the disciple Peter as an example of a man he admired who got through it (his denying Jesus 3X) to become a man (and leader). He faced his stuff head on and stood up and led as a real man.
But the point I took away last night was not what idea anyone took away regarding the question of the night-it was the fact that we were involved in a forum to be able to process this type of a question.
There is something built in me, and many of my friends, to have a regular gathering place to discuss issues and thoughts to figure them out-if they are true, where God fits in, how to live stuff out, what is BS, what are we not talking about, etc.
There was some agreement last night that most of us have either gone through some deep stuff or are in the midst of figuring out what it is that we need to go through in being a man. This is a lifelong process and having discussions like this out on the porch are helping.
Besides Tom the Alum, the circle included a new friend from New Zealand, transplants from Kansas, Colorado and Montana and even a few locals from right here in Maryland.
And when the porch is “open”, it is always interesting to see what thoughts and questions enter the discussion.
Last night what kept surfacing was along the idea of “what are the signs/signals along the path of life where you can tell you are a Man?”
Phrases such as: it’s a lifelong process, taking responsibility, having courage, owning your life, having something bigger than yourself to fight for all entered the circle of discussion.
My son Michael brought up an idea along the lines that “being able to get through it” is a sign you are becoming a man. He said we all have an “it”, and used the disciple Peter as an example of a man he admired who got through it (his denying Jesus 3X) to become a man (and leader). He faced his stuff head on and stood up and led as a real man.
But the point I took away last night was not what idea anyone took away regarding the question of the night-it was the fact that we were involved in a forum to be able to process this type of a question.
There is something built in me, and many of my friends, to have a regular gathering place to discuss issues and thoughts to figure them out-if they are true, where God fits in, how to live stuff out, what is BS, what are we not talking about, etc.
There was some agreement last night that most of us have either gone through some deep stuff or are in the midst of figuring out what it is that we need to go through in being a man. This is a lifelong process and having discussions like this out on the porch are helping.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Glass
This past week I went a visited a bro of mine, to talk and see how he was doing. Over the next couple of hours, the discussion was real and it was deep. We said what needed to be said the way that only close friends can.
We prayed and shared some Scriptures.
Even though we sat only 2 feet away, most of the time it felt like we were miles away.
The only thing, the only thing, between us was some thick glass.
Most of the time the word “glass” is processed in my mind, images like transparency, clarity and protection come through. All pretty positive.
Now I have a negative image. See, my friend was in the local jail and this glass was a major separator. The glass was a barrier neither one of us desired.
His actions and choice of telling the truth put him in this place tonight.
It’s interesting that the truth itself has brought a sense of ultimate freedom from the slavery of sin he tried so desperately to hide. Having brought the truth out into the light has allowed an intimacy in our circle that is painfully beautiful.
This reaffirms what I have been learning the past couple years: as we are more authentic with each other, all of us have crap in our lives. 100%. Period.
I do want to love my friends like Jesus, no strings attached. I want those in my close circle to love me when they find out who I am and what I am like.
That’s what I believe, but what I was really feeling as I left that night was my heart breaking:
-For the consequences my friend may face because his past actions may separate him from his family.
-For the emotional separation it caused many of us in his circle of trust.
-For what might happen in the broader circle of relationships of those who don’t really understand-or may not even want to understand-his heart and the truth of what actually happened and desire for real healing.
-I have to leave a close friend alone to suffer the consequences of his actions.
As I left him that night, my main thought was, “This is screwed up. It’s not supposed to be like this.” I wondered if from God’s perspective, a lot of our relationships are like this with Him.
There is a thick piece of glass between us and Him. And it needs to get smashed.
I went to my car and leaned on the wheel. Tears came as I asked God to be with my buddy. It was what I could do.
We prayed and shared some Scriptures.
Even though we sat only 2 feet away, most of the time it felt like we were miles away.
The only thing, the only thing, between us was some thick glass.
Most of the time the word “glass” is processed in my mind, images like transparency, clarity and protection come through. All pretty positive.
Now I have a negative image. See, my friend was in the local jail and this glass was a major separator. The glass was a barrier neither one of us desired.
His actions and choice of telling the truth put him in this place tonight.
It’s interesting that the truth itself has brought a sense of ultimate freedom from the slavery of sin he tried so desperately to hide. Having brought the truth out into the light has allowed an intimacy in our circle that is painfully beautiful.
This reaffirms what I have been learning the past couple years: as we are more authentic with each other, all of us have crap in our lives. 100%. Period.
I do want to love my friends like Jesus, no strings attached. I want those in my close circle to love me when they find out who I am and what I am like.
That’s what I believe, but what I was really feeling as I left that night was my heart breaking:
-For the consequences my friend may face because his past actions may separate him from his family.
-For the emotional separation it caused many of us in his circle of trust.
-For what might happen in the broader circle of relationships of those who don’t really understand-or may not even want to understand-his heart and the truth of what actually happened and desire for real healing.
-I have to leave a close friend alone to suffer the consequences of his actions.
As I left him that night, my main thought was, “This is screwed up. It’s not supposed to be like this.” I wondered if from God’s perspective, a lot of our relationships are like this with Him.
There is a thick piece of glass between us and Him. And it needs to get smashed.
I went to my car and leaned on the wheel. Tears came as I asked God to be with my buddy. It was what I could do.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Feet
One of the more interesting conversations these past couple months happened under a metal roof in Yirol, South Sudan with a young Muslim guy named Mohammed. He had recently been displaced from his home in Darfur and had made his way south to start again.
We found ourselves next to each other while seeking shelter during a rare rainstorm.
As we sat there eyeing each other, he gathered up the courage to ask me if where I lived, the United States, was different from his country here in Sudan.
I mean, where do you even start on a question like that?
In South Sudan, most people make $100/year, have never seen television, live in a mud hut, and usually (hopefully) have enough food, water and clothing for the day.
I come from the land of asphalt highways, grocery stores, and closets full of clothes.
In my shame, I looked down. I saw my feet. I saw his feet. I told him that where I come most everyone has shoes and socks and their feet and toes are protected. Most of my friends have many pairs of shoes to match the events and outfits of each day.
Most of the trip I asked my friend Dave to photograph the feet of those we visited. One picture he took I framed and hung it on the wall in my office this past week. It is a close up of an elderly lady whose black feet have never been covered by a shoe. Never. Her feet are worn and calloused and mangled.
As I write this thought, I look down again and see that my feet are smooth and soft and manicured. For me, it is sort of embarrassing to admit I wore comfortable sandals today and some nice Asics running shoes when I went to the gym.
What I have seen I want to remember. Every day it seems easier to forget.
Tomorrow I will see the picture in my office and know how fortunate I am to have the shoes I wear. I will wonder where her feet have taken her these past hours and days and I will ask God to be with my friends until we see each other again.
We found ourselves next to each other while seeking shelter during a rare rainstorm.
As we sat there eyeing each other, he gathered up the courage to ask me if where I lived, the United States, was different from his country here in Sudan.
I mean, where do you even start on a question like that?
In South Sudan, most people make $100/year, have never seen television, live in a mud hut, and usually (hopefully) have enough food, water and clothing for the day.
I come from the land of asphalt highways, grocery stores, and closets full of clothes.
In my shame, I looked down. I saw my feet. I saw his feet. I told him that where I come most everyone has shoes and socks and their feet and toes are protected. Most of my friends have many pairs of shoes to match the events and outfits of each day.
Most of the trip I asked my friend Dave to photograph the feet of those we visited. One picture he took I framed and hung it on the wall in my office this past week. It is a close up of an elderly lady whose black feet have never been covered by a shoe. Never. Her feet are worn and calloused and mangled.
As I write this thought, I look down again and see that my feet are smooth and soft and manicured. For me, it is sort of embarrassing to admit I wore comfortable sandals today and some nice Asics running shoes when I went to the gym.
What I have seen I want to remember. Every day it seems easier to forget.
Tomorrow I will see the picture in my office and know how fortunate I am to have the shoes I wear. I will wonder where her feet have taken her these past hours and days and I will ask God to be with my friends until we see each other again.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Building Bridges
Yesterday I was driving home over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge after playing some golf with a few friends. If you have never been over a 4.2 miles structure like this one, you have missed one of the marvels of modern engineering.
The fact that two pieces of land this far apart can be connected by a (very) large piece of metal and concrete is a miracle of sorts, at least to my brain.
This image of building bridges has been with me for years.
You will have to trust me and know I love bridges. I have books about them and often self-describe myself this way as a means to create discussion about who I am rather than what I do. I have a business cards printed with Bridge Builder as my title.
About three weeks ago I took an online profile test called Strengthfinders which basically identifies the top 5 natural gifts and talents each of us has and challenges us to develop skills and knowledge around them in whatever occupation you are in.
My top strength was labeled Connectedness and in the detailed description it says, “you are a bridge builder for people…” It was a little freaky to hear these exact words.
But, like I said, I describe myself this way because I do love building bridges, all different kinds.
In the books I read and the area I live there is a virtual plethora of types, lengths, heights, styles and design of bridges. Are any two even exactly alike?
Maybe there are as many different bridges as there are people, because there are many different ways God speaks to His children.
I connect with God quickly when I am sitting on the beach near sunset with some good music on my IPod. It’s like the download is fast and sweet when I am there. I know He is close to me. I figure ways to plan my schedule to be in this place.
Some of my friends have found places of solitude, community service, Bible study or church worship services to draw close to Jesus.
He is the same, but the way He reveals Himself to each of us is as unique as we are.
I guess I just like to help others find who I have found. I like building bridges to help them find what I’ve found: Joy. Peace. Forgiveness. Love. Jesus.
But Bridge building is tough work-it takes years to finish many structures.
A bridge is never really finished, because there is always routine, ongoing maintenance.
But when a bridge is built and its purposes are fulfilled, one can look at the accomplishment with such satisfaction.
Maybe that’s why I get so much joy from connecting my friends and family to each other, and more importantly, helping connect them to Jesus.
Bridge building will always be on my calling card.
I think I'll drive over that big bridge tomorrow and remind myself these things.
P.S. My top “strength” detailed
Connectedness
Tom Rath, Strengthfinders 2.0
Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.
The fact that two pieces of land this far apart can be connected by a (very) large piece of metal and concrete is a miracle of sorts, at least to my brain.
This image of building bridges has been with me for years.
You will have to trust me and know I love bridges. I have books about them and often self-describe myself this way as a means to create discussion about who I am rather than what I do. I have a business cards printed with Bridge Builder as my title.
About three weeks ago I took an online profile test called Strengthfinders which basically identifies the top 5 natural gifts and talents each of us has and challenges us to develop skills and knowledge around them in whatever occupation you are in.
My top strength was labeled Connectedness and in the detailed description it says, “you are a bridge builder for people…” It was a little freaky to hear these exact words.
But, like I said, I describe myself this way because I do love building bridges, all different kinds.
In the books I read and the area I live there is a virtual plethora of types, lengths, heights, styles and design of bridges. Are any two even exactly alike?
Maybe there are as many different bridges as there are people, because there are many different ways God speaks to His children.
I connect with God quickly when I am sitting on the beach near sunset with some good music on my IPod. It’s like the download is fast and sweet when I am there. I know He is close to me. I figure ways to plan my schedule to be in this place.
Some of my friends have found places of solitude, community service, Bible study or church worship services to draw close to Jesus.
He is the same, but the way He reveals Himself to each of us is as unique as we are.
I guess I just like to help others find who I have found. I like building bridges to help them find what I’ve found: Joy. Peace. Forgiveness. Love. Jesus.
But Bridge building is tough work-it takes years to finish many structures.
A bridge is never really finished, because there is always routine, ongoing maintenance.
But when a bridge is built and its purposes are fulfilled, one can look at the accomplishment with such satisfaction.
Maybe that’s why I get so much joy from connecting my friends and family to each other, and more importantly, helping connect them to Jesus.
Bridge building will always be on my calling card.
I think I'll drive over that big bridge tomorrow and remind myself these things.
P.S. My top “strength” detailed
Connectedness
Tom Rath, Strengthfinders 2.0
Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Facing my fear
Last summer I found out it takes about 20 hours to cover the 18 miles of climbing down, camping out and returning to the rim of the Grand canyon. The descent is 5000 feet and that my fear of heights is more real that ever. Actually, my fear is more of "falling" than just heights in general. But mine is not a story of conquering fear since even though I faced my fear, it is still with me today.
On the way out of the Canyon, we stopped at the Desert View on the East Rim and I still had wobbly legs and did not want to go near the edge. It was frustrating. Fears are a weird thing-very hard to explain. They sort of "just are" if you know what I mean.
Why are they difficult to conquer? I have this desire somewhere deep down to have no fear at all. In the middle of the most fear I have ever faced-an 80 yard pass, that was 4 feet wide and about a 1000-2000 foot straight down drop on both sides on the South Kaibab Trail-it meant so much to me that my bro Rick was praying for me and encouraging me that I could make it. Somehow I got through that passage.
There is something deep down in me now that says that although I do not like my fears-and maybe I will never conquer them-I can get through them. On that ledge, every step was a unique step of self courage fused with reliance upon God. Maybe that's what God wants of me-dependence upon Him for every step I take.
When I got to the top of the Canyon I layed down and just cried. Part of it was physical exhaustion, but most of it was tears of joy that a fear was faced and I had made it through. Rick will tell you I did not even want to start the hike. It was raining and lightning and it was 5000 feet down. Somewhere deep down I knew I needed to go where I did not want to and face what I did not want to face.
Maybe you have something you need to turn around and face. Or maybe you need a friend to walk through it with you. Maybe you just need a little bit of courage to start. Take one step. Consider that maybe God wants to be with you in it and ask for His help. Thanks for sharing life with me.
On the way out of the Canyon, we stopped at the Desert View on the East Rim and I still had wobbly legs and did not want to go near the edge. It was frustrating. Fears are a weird thing-very hard to explain. They sort of "just are" if you know what I mean.
Why are they difficult to conquer? I have this desire somewhere deep down to have no fear at all. In the middle of the most fear I have ever faced-an 80 yard pass, that was 4 feet wide and about a 1000-2000 foot straight down drop on both sides on the South Kaibab Trail-it meant so much to me that my bro Rick was praying for me and encouraging me that I could make it. Somehow I got through that passage.
There is something deep down in me now that says that although I do not like my fears-and maybe I will never conquer them-I can get through them. On that ledge, every step was a unique step of self courage fused with reliance upon God. Maybe that's what God wants of me-dependence upon Him for every step I take.
When I got to the top of the Canyon I layed down and just cried. Part of it was physical exhaustion, but most of it was tears of joy that a fear was faced and I had made it through. Rick will tell you I did not even want to start the hike. It was raining and lightning and it was 5000 feet down. Somewhere deep down I knew I needed to go where I did not want to and face what I did not want to face.
Maybe you have something you need to turn around and face. Or maybe you need a friend to walk through it with you. Maybe you just need a little bit of courage to start. Take one step. Consider that maybe God wants to be with you in it and ask for His help. Thanks for sharing life with me.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Ancient Community
April, 19, 2008 It’s been a couple weeks since returning from Africa and I continue to try to lean into the things God has impressed upon my heart and mind. I have to say there is a lot of internal wrestling in my life as my default buttons return to my USA settings. I think the exercise of writing these thoughts out loud helps me as much as anything.This processing out loud is interesting for me, and these thoughts I am exploring on community are pretty challenging to me and make me think…
On this trip I was afforded an “inside look” at a very different, ancient culture and how they interact with each other. Most historians agree this culture dates back 5000+ years and is relatively unchanged. This has prompted me to consider the possibility there is something I/we might learn about family/community and how it should be.
During the week of being with Amal’s family-mostly in Adior, and especially Tot, where he was born-I observed and interacted with a group of people who were all in each others business and lives-all the time! The older men, the Elders, pretty much handle all the affairs of the community internally. If justice or punishment were needed, they took care of it. They spent hours and hours talking about the needs and concerns and issues of the community every day and took responsibility for them.
One such instance occurred when Amal and I agreed upon a young man who would receive a “pay it forward” gift/loan of $200 (2 years salary) entrusted to me to present to a person who had never had an opportunity in their life to advance economically. They would steward this gift for 12 months and then pass the $200 to another who could use it to advance themselves., and so on and so on-the gift that really keeps giving.
My idea was that once we found the right person would be to have a private, quiet little talk and presentation. Amal informed me that would not happen, and that a few of the Elders (2-3) would witness the gift and understand the agreement and help the young man succeed and honor the agreement. It was beautiful and helped me understand why things in ancient Biblical times were done on the testimony of two or three witnesses and maybe why some of our private deals done here end up failing, or worse yet, end up in court.
Acceptance and love into family was another wonderful lesson to me. Since we have become Amal’s family here in the U.S. , we were accepted without condition in Sudan , even though we were the first white people most of these new friends had ever seen.
When we arrived in the village, an animal was sacrificed and we had to step over the animal and “into” the family. They celebrated and had a “big deal” meal with us. When we departed the last day, the Elders washed our feet and put ashes on our face and blessed us, telling us how much of a blessing we are to them. Before we left they even presented our team with property (the best land with Mango trees) and offered to build us a compound and home there upon our return.
Often times when we were with them singing and dancing and talking they would look us in the eyes and put their hand on their heart and then put it on our heart-there was a deep heart to heart connection happening as we became more a part of the family. I often experienced eye contact that was like looking in to my soul, yet not threatening at all.
I guess it’s easy to see why we’d like to do “something” for our family in Sudan . They have basic needs and it is on our heart to help meet them if we can. We are thinking through this right now because we’d like to make sure we can fulfill our pledge to them and what we do is the most important thing they need.
I thank God for pushing me forward as I learn more about His family, my family and how we care and love for each other. I am thankful for our friendship and look forward to sharing these new family friends with you one day.
On this trip I was afforded an “inside look” at a very different, ancient culture and how they interact with each other. Most historians agree this culture dates back 5000+ years and is relatively unchanged. This has prompted me to consider the possibility there is something I/we might learn about family/community and how it should be.
During the week of being with Amal’s family-mostly in Adior, and especially Tot, where he was born-I observed and interacted with a group of people who were all in each others business and lives-all the time! The older men, the Elders, pretty much handle all the affairs of the community internally. If justice or punishment were needed, they took care of it. They spent hours and hours talking about the needs and concerns and issues of the community every day and took responsibility for them.
One such instance occurred when Amal and I agreed upon a young man who would receive a “pay it forward” gift/loan of $200 (2 years salary) entrusted to me to present to a person who had never had an opportunity in their life to advance economically. They would steward this gift for 12 months and then pass the $200 to another who could use it to advance themselves., and so on and so on-the gift that really keeps giving.
My idea was that once we found the right person would be to have a private, quiet little talk and presentation. Amal informed me that would not happen, and that a few of the Elders (2-3) would witness the gift and understand the agreement and help the young man succeed and honor the agreement. It was beautiful and helped me understand why things in ancient Biblical times were done on the testimony of two or three witnesses and maybe why some of our private deals done here end up failing, or worse yet, end up in court.
Acceptance and love into family was another wonderful lesson to me. Since we have become Amal’s family here in the U.S. , we were accepted without condition in Sudan , even though we were the first white people most of these new friends had ever seen.
When we arrived in the village, an animal was sacrificed and we had to step over the animal and “into” the family. They celebrated and had a “big deal” meal with us. When we departed the last day, the Elders washed our feet and put ashes on our face and blessed us, telling us how much of a blessing we are to them. Before we left they even presented our team with property (the best land with Mango trees) and offered to build us a compound and home there upon our return.
Often times when we were with them singing and dancing and talking they would look us in the eyes and put their hand on their heart and then put it on our heart-there was a deep heart to heart connection happening as we became more a part of the family. I often experienced eye contact that was like looking in to my soul, yet not threatening at all.
I guess it’s easy to see why we’d like to do “something” for our family in Sudan . They have basic needs and it is on our heart to help meet them if we can. We are thinking through this right now because we’d like to make sure we can fulfill our pledge to them and what we do is the most important thing they need.
I thank God for pushing me forward as I learn more about His family, my family and how we care and love for each other. I am thankful for our friendship and look forward to sharing these new family friends with you one day.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
acceptance
Last night I hung out with some guys at a Celebrate Recovery meeting. One by one they poured out their lives and desperate need for God. One dude shared that the only thing between him and a drink is God. If he takes that first sip, his life is over.
My favorite verse in the Scriptures is Romans 5:8. “God demonstrates His own love for us this way-while we were still sinners, Jesus died for us.”
God is pursuing me-He is right behind me, waiting-even when I have no interest in Him and am doing my own thing. I can remember times when I was younger basically giving God the finger. Yet, He still pursued me. I have to pause to believe this still. That is a whole kind of different love that does not seem natural to me.
When I turned around, He was right there to meet me and accept me as I was.
As I follow Him through my life, this love-His agape love- is becoming more real in my life. I desire to love Him, and others, the way He loves. Words like: Unconditional, accepting, from a view of love that excites me.
Reminds me of something I wrote to my friends last year:
Date: Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:11:47
Last night I went to my first AA meeting.
Ok, I was there to support my new friend who was leading the discussion and he asked me to meet some of his fellow alcoholics.
I will not forget this night.
My friend shared about how change happens in your life when you are in a place where you are unconditionally accepted-this is what this group and time and place are for.
For the next 45 minutes, person after person shared their struggles and thoughts and victory stories with alcohol.
“I finally found a place here where you all know my shi…, and still think I am okay”
“You all accept me just as I am”
“I found a place where I can be who I am and not have to pretend.”
“When I am not here, I am lost and vulnerable.”
“I got tired of pretending and here I don’t have to.”
“This fellowship is what I have always needed and why I come every day.”
It went on and on.
My buddy said he goes every day and most days two times since he got out of jail a couple months ago.
He also shared with the group that he not only needs this group, he needs his new church family and especially Jesus.
As I left, I thought if Jesus came back tonight this is where he would have been. He would have loved hanging out with those who are desperate and know it.
I think He might have also said this is what church and small group should be like-coming just as you are, desperate for help because you cannot do it yourself and in needing to be around others who feel the same way.
It really made me think.
My favorite verse in the Scriptures is Romans 5:8. “God demonstrates His own love for us this way-while we were still sinners, Jesus died for us.”
God is pursuing me-He is right behind me, waiting-even when I have no interest in Him and am doing my own thing. I can remember times when I was younger basically giving God the finger. Yet, He still pursued me. I have to pause to believe this still. That is a whole kind of different love that does not seem natural to me.
When I turned around, He was right there to meet me and accept me as I was.
As I follow Him through my life, this love-His agape love- is becoming more real in my life. I desire to love Him, and others, the way He loves. Words like: Unconditional, accepting, from a view of love that excites me.
Reminds me of something I wrote to my friends last year:
Date: Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:11:47
Last night I went to my first AA meeting.
Ok, I was there to support my new friend who was leading the discussion and he asked me to meet some of his fellow alcoholics.
I will not forget this night.
My friend shared about how change happens in your life when you are in a place where you are unconditionally accepted-this is what this group and time and place are for.
For the next 45 minutes, person after person shared their struggles and thoughts and victory stories with alcohol.
“I finally found a place here where you all know my shi…, and still think I am okay”
“You all accept me just as I am”
“I found a place where I can be who I am and not have to pretend.”
“When I am not here, I am lost and vulnerable.”
“I got tired of pretending and here I don’t have to.”
“This fellowship is what I have always needed and why I come every day.”
It went on and on.
My buddy said he goes every day and most days two times since he got out of jail a couple months ago.
He also shared with the group that he not only needs this group, he needs his new church family and especially Jesus.
As I left, I thought if Jesus came back tonight this is where he would have been. He would have loved hanging out with those who are desperate and know it.
I think He might have also said this is what church and small group should be like-coming just as you are, desperate for help because you cannot do it yourself and in needing to be around others who feel the same way.
It really made me think.
What is Porch Talk?
There are plenty of reasons to start a blog I guess. Mine is basically a place to share what I am learning and life and to have discussions based around these thoughts.
I think writing helps lead to a more examined life.
Porch night has been a time over the past few years where me and some of my bro's have gathered to have a cigar, maybe a glass of wine or brew and process the deeper things of life-more specifically how the teachings and life of Jesus are being lived out in our world.
I could go on, but I guess that is what the next posting will be about...so join in
I think writing helps lead to a more examined life.
Porch night has been a time over the past few years where me and some of my bro's have gathered to have a cigar, maybe a glass of wine or brew and process the deeper things of life-more specifically how the teachings and life of Jesus are being lived out in our world.
I could go on, but I guess that is what the next posting will be about...so join in
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