Pace

Four times I have tried to sit down and write this thought the past two days

I am laughing at myself as I start again

You'll see why in a moment

I am 21 days through an acknowledged 35 day period of life where I am so overbooked and living with a heartbeat that is not normal. Sleep is periodic and restless.

Maybe you've had one of these seasons in your life?

You see it coming, you brace, you grind it out...you want to quit, but...

In the midst of this, I found myself in one of those "moments" a couple days ago.

It was like I woke up for a second and...

In this moment, I saw where I was, and it was a place I am not sure I have been.

Most of my life I have been a person who set boundaries, limits, guidelines to keep the pace of life at a regular beat.

Friends have told me that by the way I live I have helped them slow down to a healthier pace of life and to prioritize their faith, family, work and community.

My wife and I have worked hard on this-what to say Yes and No to in our lives

I imagine you know what I am talking about is not easy

Back to "the moment"

I saw myself walking beside a fast moving river at a leisurely pace. The flowers were sweet and occasionally I stopped to look closely at them. The air was clean and there was a soft calming breeze blowing.

I could feel the power in the river and people would come by would come by on rafts, loving the white water and the adventure.

They didn't seem to notice me.

All of the sudden, I realized I was no longer on the riverbank, but I was in the current-and I could not get back to shore. I was floating along and looking for the edge-but it was far away and I could not get out. The river was too powerful for me. My body was being beaten by the rocks in the river and I was gasping for breath.

This picture is true about my life this day.

Ever felt that way?

The past few weeks I have met a new friend who has taught me something important

He was in a terrible accident a few years ago that left him in a coma. He is strong and courageous but still has a difficult time speaking. When he speaks to me, his tone is very low. He takes minutes to put together sentences.

His pace is different from mine

To be in relationship to him, I have to slow down.

When I do, it is beautiful. He is a wonderful young man.

If I am in the river, I can't hear him-and for that matter, I can't hear anybody. It's too loud out there.

I am swimming for the bank.

It might take me a few days to get there, but that's where I am headed.