One of the more interesting conversations these past couple months happened under a metal roof in Yirol, South Sudan with a young Muslim guy named Mohammed. He had recently been displaced from his home in Darfur and had made his way south to start again.
We found ourselves next to each other while seeking shelter during a rare rainstorm.
As we sat there eyeing each other, he gathered up the courage to ask me if where I lived, the United States, was different from his country here in Sudan.
I mean, where do you even start on a question like that?
In South Sudan, most people make $100/year, have never seen television, live in a mud hut, and usually (hopefully) have enough food, water and clothing for the day.
I come from the land of asphalt highways, grocery stores, and closets full of clothes.
In my shame, I looked down. I saw my feet. I saw his feet. I told him that where I come most everyone has shoes and socks and their feet and toes are protected. Most of my friends have many pairs of shoes to match the events and outfits of each day.
Most of the trip I asked my friend Dave to photograph the feet of those we visited. One picture he took I framed and hung it on the wall in my office this past week. It is a close up of an elderly lady whose black feet have never been covered by a shoe. Never. Her feet are worn and calloused and mangled.
As I write this thought, I look down again and see that my feet are smooth and soft and manicured. For me, it is sort of embarrassing to admit I wore comfortable sandals today and some nice Asics running shoes when I went to the gym.
What I have seen I want to remember. Every day it seems easier to forget.
Tomorrow I will see the picture in my office and know how fortunate I am to have the shoes I wear. I will wonder where her feet have taken her these past hours and days and I will ask God to be with my friends until we see each other again.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Building Bridges
Yesterday I was driving home over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge after playing some golf with a few friends. If you have never been over a 4.2 miles structure like this one, you have missed one of the marvels of modern engineering.
The fact that two pieces of land this far apart can be connected by a (very) large piece of metal and concrete is a miracle of sorts, at least to my brain.
This image of building bridges has been with me for years.
You will have to trust me and know I love bridges. I have books about them and often self-describe myself this way as a means to create discussion about who I am rather than what I do. I have a business cards printed with Bridge Builder as my title.
About three weeks ago I took an online profile test called Strengthfinders which basically identifies the top 5 natural gifts and talents each of us has and challenges us to develop skills and knowledge around them in whatever occupation you are in.
My top strength was labeled Connectedness and in the detailed description it says, “you are a bridge builder for people…” It was a little freaky to hear these exact words.
But, like I said, I describe myself this way because I do love building bridges, all different kinds.
In the books I read and the area I live there is a virtual plethora of types, lengths, heights, styles and design of bridges. Are any two even exactly alike?
Maybe there are as many different bridges as there are people, because there are many different ways God speaks to His children.
I connect with God quickly when I am sitting on the beach near sunset with some good music on my IPod. It’s like the download is fast and sweet when I am there. I know He is close to me. I figure ways to plan my schedule to be in this place.
Some of my friends have found places of solitude, community service, Bible study or church worship services to draw close to Jesus.
He is the same, but the way He reveals Himself to each of us is as unique as we are.
I guess I just like to help others find who I have found. I like building bridges to help them find what I’ve found: Joy. Peace. Forgiveness. Love. Jesus.
But Bridge building is tough work-it takes years to finish many structures.
A bridge is never really finished, because there is always routine, ongoing maintenance.
But when a bridge is built and its purposes are fulfilled, one can look at the accomplishment with such satisfaction.
Maybe that’s why I get so much joy from connecting my friends and family to each other, and more importantly, helping connect them to Jesus.
Bridge building will always be on my calling card.
I think I'll drive over that big bridge tomorrow and remind myself these things.
P.S. My top “strength” detailed
Connectedness
Tom Rath, Strengthfinders 2.0
Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.
The fact that two pieces of land this far apart can be connected by a (very) large piece of metal and concrete is a miracle of sorts, at least to my brain.
This image of building bridges has been with me for years.
You will have to trust me and know I love bridges. I have books about them and often self-describe myself this way as a means to create discussion about who I am rather than what I do. I have a business cards printed with Bridge Builder as my title.
About three weeks ago I took an online profile test called Strengthfinders which basically identifies the top 5 natural gifts and talents each of us has and challenges us to develop skills and knowledge around them in whatever occupation you are in.
My top strength was labeled Connectedness and in the detailed description it says, “you are a bridge builder for people…” It was a little freaky to hear these exact words.
But, like I said, I describe myself this way because I do love building bridges, all different kinds.
In the books I read and the area I live there is a virtual plethora of types, lengths, heights, styles and design of bridges. Are any two even exactly alike?
Maybe there are as many different bridges as there are people, because there are many different ways God speaks to His children.
I connect with God quickly when I am sitting on the beach near sunset with some good music on my IPod. It’s like the download is fast and sweet when I am there. I know He is close to me. I figure ways to plan my schedule to be in this place.
Some of my friends have found places of solitude, community service, Bible study or church worship services to draw close to Jesus.
He is the same, but the way He reveals Himself to each of us is as unique as we are.
I guess I just like to help others find who I have found. I like building bridges to help them find what I’ve found: Joy. Peace. Forgiveness. Love. Jesus.
But Bridge building is tough work-it takes years to finish many structures.
A bridge is never really finished, because there is always routine, ongoing maintenance.
But when a bridge is built and its purposes are fulfilled, one can look at the accomplishment with such satisfaction.
Maybe that’s why I get so much joy from connecting my friends and family to each other, and more importantly, helping connect them to Jesus.
Bridge building will always be on my calling card.
I think I'll drive over that big bridge tomorrow and remind myself these things.
P.S. My top “strength” detailed
Connectedness
Tom Rath, Strengthfinders 2.0
Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Facing my fear
Last summer I found out it takes about 20 hours to cover the 18 miles of climbing down, camping out and returning to the rim of the Grand canyon. The descent is 5000 feet and that my fear of heights is more real that ever. Actually, my fear is more of "falling" than just heights in general. But mine is not a story of conquering fear since even though I faced my fear, it is still with me today.
On the way out of the Canyon, we stopped at the Desert View on the East Rim and I still had wobbly legs and did not want to go near the edge. It was frustrating. Fears are a weird thing-very hard to explain. They sort of "just are" if you know what I mean.
Why are they difficult to conquer? I have this desire somewhere deep down to have no fear at all. In the middle of the most fear I have ever faced-an 80 yard pass, that was 4 feet wide and about a 1000-2000 foot straight down drop on both sides on the South Kaibab Trail-it meant so much to me that my bro Rick was praying for me and encouraging me that I could make it. Somehow I got through that passage.
There is something deep down in me now that says that although I do not like my fears-and maybe I will never conquer them-I can get through them. On that ledge, every step was a unique step of self courage fused with reliance upon God. Maybe that's what God wants of me-dependence upon Him for every step I take.
When I got to the top of the Canyon I layed down and just cried. Part of it was physical exhaustion, but most of it was tears of joy that a fear was faced and I had made it through. Rick will tell you I did not even want to start the hike. It was raining and lightning and it was 5000 feet down. Somewhere deep down I knew I needed to go where I did not want to and face what I did not want to face.
Maybe you have something you need to turn around and face. Or maybe you need a friend to walk through it with you. Maybe you just need a little bit of courage to start. Take one step. Consider that maybe God wants to be with you in it and ask for His help. Thanks for sharing life with me.
On the way out of the Canyon, we stopped at the Desert View on the East Rim and I still had wobbly legs and did not want to go near the edge. It was frustrating. Fears are a weird thing-very hard to explain. They sort of "just are" if you know what I mean.
Why are they difficult to conquer? I have this desire somewhere deep down to have no fear at all. In the middle of the most fear I have ever faced-an 80 yard pass, that was 4 feet wide and about a 1000-2000 foot straight down drop on both sides on the South Kaibab Trail-it meant so much to me that my bro Rick was praying for me and encouraging me that I could make it. Somehow I got through that passage.
There is something deep down in me now that says that although I do not like my fears-and maybe I will never conquer them-I can get through them. On that ledge, every step was a unique step of self courage fused with reliance upon God. Maybe that's what God wants of me-dependence upon Him for every step I take.
When I got to the top of the Canyon I layed down and just cried. Part of it was physical exhaustion, but most of it was tears of joy that a fear was faced and I had made it through. Rick will tell you I did not even want to start the hike. It was raining and lightning and it was 5000 feet down. Somewhere deep down I knew I needed to go where I did not want to and face what I did not want to face.
Maybe you have something you need to turn around and face. Or maybe you need a friend to walk through it with you. Maybe you just need a little bit of courage to start. Take one step. Consider that maybe God wants to be with you in it and ask for His help. Thanks for sharing life with me.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Ancient Community
April, 19, 2008 It’s been a couple weeks since returning from Africa and I continue to try to lean into the things God has impressed upon my heart and mind. I have to say there is a lot of internal wrestling in my life as my default buttons return to my USA settings. I think the exercise of writing these thoughts out loud helps me as much as anything.This processing out loud is interesting for me, and these thoughts I am exploring on community are pretty challenging to me and make me think…
On this trip I was afforded an “inside look” at a very different, ancient culture and how they interact with each other. Most historians agree this culture dates back 5000+ years and is relatively unchanged. This has prompted me to consider the possibility there is something I/we might learn about family/community and how it should be.
During the week of being with Amal’s family-mostly in Adior, and especially Tot, where he was born-I observed and interacted with a group of people who were all in each others business and lives-all the time! The older men, the Elders, pretty much handle all the affairs of the community internally. If justice or punishment were needed, they took care of it. They spent hours and hours talking about the needs and concerns and issues of the community every day and took responsibility for them.
One such instance occurred when Amal and I agreed upon a young man who would receive a “pay it forward” gift/loan of $200 (2 years salary) entrusted to me to present to a person who had never had an opportunity in their life to advance economically. They would steward this gift for 12 months and then pass the $200 to another who could use it to advance themselves., and so on and so on-the gift that really keeps giving.
My idea was that once we found the right person would be to have a private, quiet little talk and presentation. Amal informed me that would not happen, and that a few of the Elders (2-3) would witness the gift and understand the agreement and help the young man succeed and honor the agreement. It was beautiful and helped me understand why things in ancient Biblical times were done on the testimony of two or three witnesses and maybe why some of our private deals done here end up failing, or worse yet, end up in court.
Acceptance and love into family was another wonderful lesson to me. Since we have become Amal’s family here in the U.S. , we were accepted without condition in Sudan , even though we were the first white people most of these new friends had ever seen.
When we arrived in the village, an animal was sacrificed and we had to step over the animal and “into” the family. They celebrated and had a “big deal” meal with us. When we departed the last day, the Elders washed our feet and put ashes on our face and blessed us, telling us how much of a blessing we are to them. Before we left they even presented our team with property (the best land with Mango trees) and offered to build us a compound and home there upon our return.
Often times when we were with them singing and dancing and talking they would look us in the eyes and put their hand on their heart and then put it on our heart-there was a deep heart to heart connection happening as we became more a part of the family. I often experienced eye contact that was like looking in to my soul, yet not threatening at all.
I guess it’s easy to see why we’d like to do “something” for our family in Sudan . They have basic needs and it is on our heart to help meet them if we can. We are thinking through this right now because we’d like to make sure we can fulfill our pledge to them and what we do is the most important thing they need.
I thank God for pushing me forward as I learn more about His family, my family and how we care and love for each other. I am thankful for our friendship and look forward to sharing these new family friends with you one day.
On this trip I was afforded an “inside look” at a very different, ancient culture and how they interact with each other. Most historians agree this culture dates back 5000+ years and is relatively unchanged. This has prompted me to consider the possibility there is something I/we might learn about family/community and how it should be.
During the week of being with Amal’s family-mostly in Adior, and especially Tot, where he was born-I observed and interacted with a group of people who were all in each others business and lives-all the time! The older men, the Elders, pretty much handle all the affairs of the community internally. If justice or punishment were needed, they took care of it. They spent hours and hours talking about the needs and concerns and issues of the community every day and took responsibility for them.
One such instance occurred when Amal and I agreed upon a young man who would receive a “pay it forward” gift/loan of $200 (2 years salary) entrusted to me to present to a person who had never had an opportunity in their life to advance economically. They would steward this gift for 12 months and then pass the $200 to another who could use it to advance themselves., and so on and so on-the gift that really keeps giving.
My idea was that once we found the right person would be to have a private, quiet little talk and presentation. Amal informed me that would not happen, and that a few of the Elders (2-3) would witness the gift and understand the agreement and help the young man succeed and honor the agreement. It was beautiful and helped me understand why things in ancient Biblical times were done on the testimony of two or three witnesses and maybe why some of our private deals done here end up failing, or worse yet, end up in court.
Acceptance and love into family was another wonderful lesson to me. Since we have become Amal’s family here in the U.S. , we were accepted without condition in Sudan , even though we were the first white people most of these new friends had ever seen.
When we arrived in the village, an animal was sacrificed and we had to step over the animal and “into” the family. They celebrated and had a “big deal” meal with us. When we departed the last day, the Elders washed our feet and put ashes on our face and blessed us, telling us how much of a blessing we are to them. Before we left they even presented our team with property (the best land with Mango trees) and offered to build us a compound and home there upon our return.
Often times when we were with them singing and dancing and talking they would look us in the eyes and put their hand on their heart and then put it on our heart-there was a deep heart to heart connection happening as we became more a part of the family. I often experienced eye contact that was like looking in to my soul, yet not threatening at all.
I guess it’s easy to see why we’d like to do “something” for our family in Sudan . They have basic needs and it is on our heart to help meet them if we can. We are thinking through this right now because we’d like to make sure we can fulfill our pledge to them and what we do is the most important thing they need.
I thank God for pushing me forward as I learn more about His family, my family and how we care and love for each other. I am thankful for our friendship and look forward to sharing these new family friends with you one day.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
acceptance
Last night I hung out with some guys at a Celebrate Recovery meeting. One by one they poured out their lives and desperate need for God. One dude shared that the only thing between him and a drink is God. If he takes that first sip, his life is over.
My favorite verse in the Scriptures is Romans 5:8. “God demonstrates His own love for us this way-while we were still sinners, Jesus died for us.”
God is pursuing me-He is right behind me, waiting-even when I have no interest in Him and am doing my own thing. I can remember times when I was younger basically giving God the finger. Yet, He still pursued me. I have to pause to believe this still. That is a whole kind of different love that does not seem natural to me.
When I turned around, He was right there to meet me and accept me as I was.
As I follow Him through my life, this love-His agape love- is becoming more real in my life. I desire to love Him, and others, the way He loves. Words like: Unconditional, accepting, from a view of love that excites me.
Reminds me of something I wrote to my friends last year:
Date: Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:11:47
Last night I went to my first AA meeting.
Ok, I was there to support my new friend who was leading the discussion and he asked me to meet some of his fellow alcoholics.
I will not forget this night.
My friend shared about how change happens in your life when you are in a place where you are unconditionally accepted-this is what this group and time and place are for.
For the next 45 minutes, person after person shared their struggles and thoughts and victory stories with alcohol.
“I finally found a place here where you all know my shi…, and still think I am okay”
“You all accept me just as I am”
“I found a place where I can be who I am and not have to pretend.”
“When I am not here, I am lost and vulnerable.”
“I got tired of pretending and here I don’t have to.”
“This fellowship is what I have always needed and why I come every day.”
It went on and on.
My buddy said he goes every day and most days two times since he got out of jail a couple months ago.
He also shared with the group that he not only needs this group, he needs his new church family and especially Jesus.
As I left, I thought if Jesus came back tonight this is where he would have been. He would have loved hanging out with those who are desperate and know it.
I think He might have also said this is what church and small group should be like-coming just as you are, desperate for help because you cannot do it yourself and in needing to be around others who feel the same way.
It really made me think.
My favorite verse in the Scriptures is Romans 5:8. “God demonstrates His own love for us this way-while we were still sinners, Jesus died for us.”
God is pursuing me-He is right behind me, waiting-even when I have no interest in Him and am doing my own thing. I can remember times when I was younger basically giving God the finger. Yet, He still pursued me. I have to pause to believe this still. That is a whole kind of different love that does not seem natural to me.
When I turned around, He was right there to meet me and accept me as I was.
As I follow Him through my life, this love-His agape love- is becoming more real in my life. I desire to love Him, and others, the way He loves. Words like: Unconditional, accepting, from a view of love that excites me.
Reminds me of something I wrote to my friends last year:
Date: Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:11:47
Last night I went to my first AA meeting.
Ok, I was there to support my new friend who was leading the discussion and he asked me to meet some of his fellow alcoholics.
I will not forget this night.
My friend shared about how change happens in your life when you are in a place where you are unconditionally accepted-this is what this group and time and place are for.
For the next 45 minutes, person after person shared their struggles and thoughts and victory stories with alcohol.
“I finally found a place here where you all know my shi…, and still think I am okay”
“You all accept me just as I am”
“I found a place where I can be who I am and not have to pretend.”
“When I am not here, I am lost and vulnerable.”
“I got tired of pretending and here I don’t have to.”
“This fellowship is what I have always needed and why I come every day.”
It went on and on.
My buddy said he goes every day and most days two times since he got out of jail a couple months ago.
He also shared with the group that he not only needs this group, he needs his new church family and especially Jesus.
As I left, I thought if Jesus came back tonight this is where he would have been. He would have loved hanging out with those who are desperate and know it.
I think He might have also said this is what church and small group should be like-coming just as you are, desperate for help because you cannot do it yourself and in needing to be around others who feel the same way.
It really made me think.
What is Porch Talk?
There are plenty of reasons to start a blog I guess. Mine is basically a place to share what I am learning and life and to have discussions based around these thoughts.
I think writing helps lead to a more examined life.
Porch night has been a time over the past few years where me and some of my bro's have gathered to have a cigar, maybe a glass of wine or brew and process the deeper things of life-more specifically how the teachings and life of Jesus are being lived out in our world.
I could go on, but I guess that is what the next posting will be about...so join in
I think writing helps lead to a more examined life.
Porch night has been a time over the past few years where me and some of my bro's have gathered to have a cigar, maybe a glass of wine or brew and process the deeper things of life-more specifically how the teachings and life of Jesus are being lived out in our world.
I could go on, but I guess that is what the next posting will be about...so join in
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