Tuesday, June 24, 2008

50 yards

It was maybe the most surreal 50 yards I have ever walked

50 yards for my my daughter to know the depths of how much I love her

50 yards for her to know just how proud I am of her

50 yards for her to know how much I believe in her and her decision this day

50 yards to meet the man who will love her the rest of his life

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?

I looked in to her eyes, hugged her, kissed her and told her she will always have a place in my heart

I turned and faced Brandon and told him that "she is now yours. I trust you with her. Take good care of her."

I put her hand in his and sat next to my helpmate-the moment was over and the spotlight was where it should be-on Rachel and her soon to be husband

I had thought carefully over the past weeks about that moment and what I hoped to share

I wanted Brandon to know I trusted him with my daughter

Almost 25 years ago I stood where he did. Not just as a young man with great hopes and love and joy, but one desiring to know I could be trusted with my young lady, Carolyn

When I had asked for her hand in marriage, the normal questions came out. "Where will you live? How will you provide for her? What will you do with your life?" All good, practical questions I for which I had little specific answers

In the midst of that discussion I asked my soon to be father-in-law, "Do you trust me with your daughter?"

There was a pause and a nod. "Yes"

We had gotten to the "real" question behind the question. We now were working out the details together as we cared for his daughter, my soon to be wife, Carolyn together

This was my hope for Rachel with these final words to Brandon

The importance of trust

When he asked for her hands a few months ago we made sure he knew he was in the "circle of trust" in our family. He was invited into our family

Is it a risk to trust? Sure. Does trust take courage? Sure.

As I reflect today on those last 50 yards with Rachel, this is one message I hope they cling to as Carolyn and I have: Trust is critical for intimacy, growth and friendship. It is given but can be lost. It is worth the risk and should be treasured deeply.

May our circle of trust be strong

7 comments:

Grammy said...

50 years ago..not 50 yards--Grandma Langdon said she was for our marraige but it would be nice if we had some money to live on! Dad proceeded to reveal that he had $1700 in savings (equal to probably $3,000 today), which seemed to satisfy her TRUST in him to care for me! so, yes, trust plays itself out in many forms and lays a firm foundation..love, mom

beeming said...

Pete,

Truly you are a man who thinks things thru and even processes those thoughts after the events have occurred. I appreciate the thought that what started you marriage is being passed along to Brandon and Rachael. But you should know that there was years of preparation that Rachael has enjoyed under the loving tutalege you and Carolyn. Rachael has been prepared by the best. Rachael's acceptance of Brandon in her life is only a fruit of the preparation she has had. She will be more than okay as she and Brandon venture out into their marriage cemented by the nurturing she has received and the Lord standing in the gap. I am amazed at the consistency of your love in the midst of turmoil, prosperity and now with giving your daughter away in marriage. GOd has certainly blessed you and your family with indescribable love and with that there can only be true success in life, in marriage and in having family. Pete and Carolyn - you both set the bar for the rest of us to occassionally aspire to. Thanks for the role model you have set not just for your family but for the rest of us.

Love you,

Bob

Anonymous said...

...great thoughts Petey...thanks for pouring your soul out on us.

It's funny...I remember standing across from Kelley thinking, "Do I trust myself with her?"

It's a process for me...it kills me more than anything to do ANYTHING that hurts her. I think that I tend to do it when I trust myself too much and not Jesus enough.

Love you bro.

Rick G

Unknown said...

Pete,I guess I had not read my email in a while. I did get this and it's great. As i watched you walk those 50 yards I also had tears in my eyes. I seem to get that way pretty easily. Anyway, I enjoyed reading your thoughts and I did wonder what you were saying to them up there since we were not close enough to hear. PS. Your porch talks sound pretty cool!

On the Path said...

This is beautiful stuff bro.
You are a deep soul - thanks for sharing refreshing water from your deep well with us.

I believe your trust will provide strong shelter for their family to grow in.

In it with you,
andrew

Unknown said...

Thanks for sharing those thoughts, Pete. The very same thing happened to me about two weeks ago when Kelly and I got married. After her father told the pastor that he and his wife were giving Kelly to me, he placed her hands in mine and with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face, he said, "She's all yours, Matt. Take good care of her." You may or may not have already heard this, but I was a mess during the whole ceremony, cryin' like a baby at how lucky I was to have a woman like Kelly for my whole life. She was as calm as ever, simply smiling and whispering, "It's ok, it's alright."

Circleoftrust said...

I continue to learn more as time goes on...one thought was about the first miracle Jesus performed which I always answered the He turned water into wine at the wedding of Cana. I was reminded recently that actually His first miracle was the He was there at the wedding. So we prayed for Jesus to be at the wedding and sure enough He showed up and a miracle happened...