Glass

This past week I went a visited a bro of mine, to talk and see how he was doing. Over the next couple of hours, the discussion was real and it was deep. We said what needed to be said the way that only close friends can.

We prayed and shared some Scriptures.

Even though we sat only 2 feet away, most of the time it felt like we were miles away.

The only thing, the only thing, between us was some thick glass.

Most of the time the word “glass” is processed in my mind, images like transparency, clarity and protection come through. All pretty positive.

Now I have a negative image. See, my friend was in the local jail and this glass was a major separator. The glass was a barrier neither one of us desired.

His actions and choice of telling the truth put him in this place tonight.

It’s interesting that the truth itself has brought a sense of ultimate freedom from the slavery of sin he tried so desperately to hide. Having brought the truth out into the light has allowed an intimacy in our circle that is painfully beautiful.

This reaffirms what I have been learning the past couple years: as we are more authentic with each other, all of us have crap in our lives. 100%. Period.

I do want to love my friends like Jesus, no strings attached. I want those in my close circle to love me when they find out who I am and what I am like.

That’s what I believe, but what I was really feeling as I left that night was my heart breaking:
-For the consequences my friend may face because his past actions may separate him from his family.
-For the emotional separation it caused many of us in his circle of trust.
-For what might happen in the broader circle of relationships of those who don’t really understand-or may not even want to understand-his heart and the truth of what actually happened and desire for real healing.
-I have to leave a close friend alone to suffer the consequences of his actions.

As I left him that night, my main thought was, “This is screwed up. It’s not supposed to be like this.” I wondered if from God’s perspective, a lot of our relationships are like this with Him.

There is a thick piece of glass between us and Him. And it needs to get smashed.

I went to my car and leaned on the wheel. Tears came as I asked God to be with my buddy. It was what I could do.