I remember watching TV last August 1st when the nation was captivated by the tragedy of the I-35 bridge collapse outside in Minneapolis. Several died and 145 were injured. Most experts thought it could have been worse
Only minutes later, the questions began, “How did this happen?” and within days began unsettling news reports that 30-50% of our nations bridges may be structurally unsafe
Fifty percent? Even a 10% estimate would make many of us nervous
Reasons such as cost cutting, cutting corners on inferior steel and concrete, time constraints, budget cuts, workmanship are all sited as to possible reasons for unsafe bridges in our country and the I-35 collapse
Somewhere along the way of each bridge built, decisions are made in regards to the design, cost, materials and workmanship that determine how long the bridge will last structurally
Once construction is done, a maintenance schedule is set and the bridge is opened for travel
On I-35 last August, travel stopped dead for 13 people
Something went very wrong
Makes me think
About my life and the bridges of my relationships
I see a relationship like a bridge-me on one side and someone on the other
Questions begin to emerge like:
*As I look around my life, how strong are my relationships?
*What is the foundation of my relationships?
*Do I take shortcuts with others or do I invest my best?
*Do I have strong foundations so they withstand the tough weather that often blows through my life?
*Am I surprised when a friendship goes south?
*Am I prepared to be the kind of friend others deserve?
I have been hanging with a group of guys the past 10+ years
We have been through a lot together
The best and worst of times
Together
I am learning a few things that have made these bridges what they are today:
*I need to decide daily to think the best of them
*I need to invest some of my best time and talents with these friends
*I need to be willing to let them know me and risk love once I am fully known
*when the issues come up, I decide to fully work through them
Some look at our friendship and think- easy
We know differently
Any good relationship takes (a lot) of work
In fact, I often tell others "I do not have a close friend I have not had a HUGE problem with" or, more likely, them with me
It’s like the person who needs to get their jaw broken and reset to be right. It’s really painful to go through, but once it’s healed and fits right, it’s stronger than before and finally works the way it was intended
I can’t say I have ever wanted to get my relational “Jaw broken”, but now I see why it has been good for me
Seems like it often comes down to making a choice-work through it or pretend it doesn’t exist
The latter almost inevitably leads to an I-35 incident
The former almost always makes the bridge stronger
Can’t say it’s my first choice of activities on a Friday night...sitting down and working through an issue...but later on...yup
A friend recently shared this quote from Nabeel Jabbour, "The stronger the bridge of relationship, the more truth you can take across it."
I have been thinking about it for days
In my closer, stronger relationships, I am willing to listen. In relationships where trust is not as good, I am almost deaf
When the bridge is stronger, I accept truth spoken in to my life. Listening and learning seems natural. Change happens
I hear because there is level of real trust. A trust based on the fact I am loved even though I do not have it all together. A genuine care for bringing out the best in me
I’d like to build good, strong bridges and as many as possible
I think I am learning the process and what it takes to build a decent bridge
Maybe you have thoughts about building relational bridges too...
Only minutes later, the questions began, “How did this happen?” and within days began unsettling news reports that 30-50% of our nations bridges may be structurally unsafe
Fifty percent? Even a 10% estimate would make many of us nervous
Reasons such as cost cutting, cutting corners on inferior steel and concrete, time constraints, budget cuts, workmanship are all sited as to possible reasons for unsafe bridges in our country and the I-35 collapse
Somewhere along the way of each bridge built, decisions are made in regards to the design, cost, materials and workmanship that determine how long the bridge will last structurally
Once construction is done, a maintenance schedule is set and the bridge is opened for travel
On I-35 last August, travel stopped dead for 13 people
Something went very wrong
Makes me think
About my life and the bridges of my relationships
I see a relationship like a bridge-me on one side and someone on the other
Questions begin to emerge like:
*As I look around my life, how strong are my relationships?
*What is the foundation of my relationships?
*Do I take shortcuts with others or do I invest my best?
*Do I have strong foundations so they withstand the tough weather that often blows through my life?
*Am I surprised when a friendship goes south?
*Am I prepared to be the kind of friend others deserve?
I have been hanging with a group of guys the past 10+ years
We have been through a lot together
The best and worst of times
Together
I am learning a few things that have made these bridges what they are today:
*I need to decide daily to think the best of them
*I need to invest some of my best time and talents with these friends
*I need to be willing to let them know me and risk love once I am fully known
*when the issues come up, I decide to fully work through them
Some look at our friendship and think- easy
We know differently
Any good relationship takes (a lot) of work
In fact, I often tell others "I do not have a close friend I have not had a HUGE problem with" or, more likely, them with me
It’s like the person who needs to get their jaw broken and reset to be right. It’s really painful to go through, but once it’s healed and fits right, it’s stronger than before and finally works the way it was intended
I can’t say I have ever wanted to get my relational “Jaw broken”, but now I see why it has been good for me
Seems like it often comes down to making a choice-work through it or pretend it doesn’t exist
The latter almost inevitably leads to an I-35 incident
The former almost always makes the bridge stronger
Can’t say it’s my first choice of activities on a Friday night...sitting down and working through an issue...but later on...yup
A friend recently shared this quote from Nabeel Jabbour, "The stronger the bridge of relationship, the more truth you can take across it."
I have been thinking about it for days
In my closer, stronger relationships, I am willing to listen. In relationships where trust is not as good, I am almost deaf
When the bridge is stronger, I accept truth spoken in to my life. Listening and learning seems natural. Change happens
I hear because there is level of real trust. A trust based on the fact I am loved even though I do not have it all together. A genuine care for bringing out the best in me
I’d like to build good, strong bridges and as many as possible
I think I am learning the process and what it takes to build a decent bridge
Maybe you have thoughts about building relational bridges too...
