After 20 years of marriage, today I finally understood why one would use conditioner on their hair-it makes getting the tangles so much easier to get out!
The last time I needed to use shampoo, part 2, was back in college when my sister would give me a permanent and add the curls to give some style to my mop
My JMU ID card reminds me of those years past
My mop is back and the conditioner really helped today
I will never again question the money we spend on hair products...well, maybe
When friends see me and the long(er) hair two reactions seem to follow
The first is non verbal and basically carries with it the "what is up/what is wrong with you?" sense.
Maybe I should use the words "friends" more carefully
The other reaction is a bit of surprise but the "hey, what's the story?" feeling
These are my friends
They want to know the story
Ask more, judge less
To quell your curiosity, it might be interesting to know I do not like long hair
It is a royal pain every morning
Every night
During the day
This long hair is forcing me to remember every day a few things that are very important to me right now-and it forces them to be part of my daily life discussions
That is why I have trimmed my hair only once in the last 6 months
To remember-the spiritual oppression of those families we love in Sudan
To remember-my buddy who will be sitting in prison the next 10 years
To remember-to engage fully in the world God has placed me, to have courage, to listen to Him, to remember Him
It may sound stupid, but I need ways to remember these things daily
Maybe you do too?
FYI-I have always known why others use conditioner
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
caffeine
Been 54 days so i will talk about it
If you've been reading this blog or in discussion with me the past 6 months, you know that I have been concerned about developing a sustainable pace for (the rest of my) life
Never really thought of it as an issue until...
I tried to stop
Headaches...at least 40 so far this year
Think I am free of it
This is from a guy who loves coffee and diet coke
Loved it with caffeine
loved it daily
What would a day be like without a pick-me-up in the afternoon?
It wasn't pretty
The reason was not quitting caffeine, whatever your opinion is about the substance
It's a quest for personal sustainability in life
To what level has it to do with caffeine or other factors I am not sure
This is just one area of my life that needs to be addressed and monitored I am sharing out loud to remind myself of my dependency upon God for everything
Less of me, more of Him
Less caffeine, more water
If you've been reading this blog or in discussion with me the past 6 months, you know that I have been concerned about developing a sustainable pace for (the rest of my) life
"Know thyself" one ancient philosopher said
The search has led me to:
tough discussions in relationships
my family to some time alone
to wrestle with God
to some interesting areas of my own behaviors, one of which is caffeineNever really thought of it as an issue until...
I tried to stop
Headaches...at least 40 so far this year
Think I am free of it
This is from a guy who loves coffee and diet coke
Loved it with caffeine
loved it daily
What would a day be like without a pick-me-up in the afternoon?
It wasn't pretty
I found something like rehab that first week with all the headaches and shakes
When i was younger, I had quit some other addictive habits, but I guess the difference was age and duration...been pounding those diet cokes, ice tea's and coffees for lots of years nowThe reason was not quitting caffeine, whatever your opinion is about the substance
It's a quest for personal sustainability in life
A quest for understanding myself and an appropriate pace without unnecessary influences
What am I capable of without manipulation?
What i am finding is more peace, better sleeping, waking up more alert and my thinking seems to have improvedTo what level has it to do with caffeine or other factors I am not sure
This is just one area of my life that needs to be addressed and monitored I am sharing out loud to remind myself of my dependency upon God for everything
Less of me, more of Him
Less caffeine, more water
Sunday, February 22, 2009
One Speed Bike
A couple days ago I forked over $45 for a used beach cruiser bicycle to get back and forth to the library where I study
With only one car, and a limited budget, $50 was max spending. I put the last $5 toward some handle grips. I am still trying to wedge them on the bike
Yesterday was the maiden voyage. I rode to the library one mile, two more to the beach and another two back to the condo. If you are quick, that totals five. Guess I am getting in shape also
If you’ve ever had a beach cruiser, you are glad to be in flat area. With no gears, and only one speed, you pretty much are forced to go at a leisurely pace. Slow might be the best word to describe the pace
It’s interesting to go slow
Most of my life the last 20+ years have been in the fast lane
Going 100 MPH it seems
Yesterday, I noticed
A lot
I said hello to people at the bus stop, many of whom looked pretty hurting.
I noticed the smell of cars, even though this sense of mine rarely seems to work
I saw all these little shops for varieties of food and services
I stopped at the top of a drawbridge and just looked at the water and the boats for a while. I was able to breath in the moment
I stopped at a little cigar shop and watched a guy roll a few. Pretty cool
This simple one speed bike
Taking me on a different pace
One I remember from a distant time
In touch
Aware
I am downshifting even without gears
With only one car, and a limited budget, $50 was max spending. I put the last $5 toward some handle grips. I am still trying to wedge them on the bike
Yesterday was the maiden voyage. I rode to the library one mile, two more to the beach and another two back to the condo. If you are quick, that totals five. Guess I am getting in shape also
If you’ve ever had a beach cruiser, you are glad to be in flat area. With no gears, and only one speed, you pretty much are forced to go at a leisurely pace. Slow might be the best word to describe the pace
It’s interesting to go slow
Most of my life the last 20+ years have been in the fast lane
Going 100 MPH it seems
Yesterday, I noticed
A lot
I said hello to people at the bus stop, many of whom looked pretty hurting.
I noticed the smell of cars, even though this sense of mine rarely seems to work
I saw all these little shops for varieties of food and services
I stopped at the top of a drawbridge and just looked at the water and the boats for a while. I was able to breath in the moment
I stopped at a little cigar shop and watched a guy roll a few. Pretty cool
This simple one speed bike
Taking me on a different pace
One I remember from a distant time
In touch
Aware
I am downshifting even without gears
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
In the Present
When Carolyn and I first stated dating, we would often talk for hours on the phone
Sometimes I would try to multi-task and watch sports or videos
Multi-tasking never seems to work for me
She knew
I am far to easily distracted
When she knew I was not totally focusing in her, she'd hang up on me
She wanted me to be with her, in the present
She still does
She deserves this
One of the main reasons I like small groups of guys to hang with is that we can all be present with each other...in the moment
In larger groups, well, you can sort of multi-task and avoid the real stuff
It has always bothered me when I am meeting in a group or with someone and they are not present (not focused)...they text or email others, look around for other people they might know, answer their phone for anyone...you got the idea, you know them
you may be like them
I've been there...even with my own wife. That is hard to admit in writing
There is a saying that goes:
Live in the past, live in guilt
Live in the future, live in anxiety
Live in the present, and really live
I love Matthew 6:33, 34-"seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things (food, clothing, shelter) will be given to you. So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Pretty simple
Be present in the day
With yourself
with your family
with your fellow workers
With others
With God
He is always present
Always available
Always near
Am I paying attention?
Am I present?
Today?
Sometimes I would try to multi-task and watch sports or videos
Multi-tasking never seems to work for me
She knew
I am far to easily distracted
When she knew I was not totally focusing in her, she'd hang up on me
She wanted me to be with her, in the present
She still does
She deserves this
One of the main reasons I like small groups of guys to hang with is that we can all be present with each other...in the moment
In larger groups, well, you can sort of multi-task and avoid the real stuff
It has always bothered me when I am meeting in a group or with someone and they are not present (not focused)...they text or email others, look around for other people they might know, answer their phone for anyone...you got the idea, you know them
you may be like them
I've been there...even with my own wife. That is hard to admit in writing
There is a saying that goes:
Live in the past, live in guilt
Live in the future, live in anxiety
Live in the present, and really live
I love Matthew 6:33, 34-"seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things (food, clothing, shelter) will be given to you. So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Pretty simple
Be present in the day
With yourself
with your family
with your fellow workers
With others
With God
He is always present
Always available
Always near
Am I paying attention?
Am I present?
Today?
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Close connection
A couple months ago when Carolyn and I were contemplating this time away, one of my mentors strongly suggested finding a place where we could get in God's presence often and easily
A place away from the normal distractions of life where we could look at life a little more objectively through His eyes
"make it happen, if at all possible", was his strong counsel
Immediately, I knew I would fight to have our time close to the Ocean
As I reflect on my life, when I find myself on a quiet beach with a good worship music mix, it is like I move right into a "Jesus download"
He and I just connect in this place, and usually pretty fast
For others, it is silence in church or a monastery or a place in the mountains, or a missions adventure or living on the edge in faith or meditating/reading the Scriptures
For me, I knew I had to fight to get myself and our family close to the Ocean
Today I remembered why I worked hard to be in this place
Our family went down to the beach this afternoon
I found a little quiet spot in the sand
Dug my toes in
Felt the sun on my back
Felt the wind in my face
Turned my Ipod to my recent "freedom mix"
Opened my hands
In His presence
Breathing
Relaxing
Receiving
Downloading
At the Ocean
Getting Closer
A place away from the normal distractions of life where we could look at life a little more objectively through His eyes
"make it happen, if at all possible", was his strong counsel
Immediately, I knew I would fight to have our time close to the Ocean
As I reflect on my life, when I find myself on a quiet beach with a good worship music mix, it is like I move right into a "Jesus download"
He and I just connect in this place, and usually pretty fast
For others, it is silence in church or a monastery or a place in the mountains, or a missions adventure or living on the edge in faith or meditating/reading the Scriptures
For me, I knew I had to fight to get myself and our family close to the Ocean
Today I remembered why I worked hard to be in this place
Our family went down to the beach this afternoon
I found a little quiet spot in the sand
Dug my toes in
Felt the sun on my back
Felt the wind in my face
Turned my Ipod to my recent "freedom mix"
Opened my hands
With each inhale, my heart said, "breath of life"
With each exhale, my heart said, "I trust You."
Over and OverIn His presence
Breathing
Relaxing
Receiving
Downloading
At the Ocean
Getting Closer
Friday, February 13, 2009
what is Porch talk, part 2
This past week I had the opportunity to visit a couple brothers who have been a part of our Porch Night group the past couple years
I felt a little bit like Paul, travelling as a missionary to encourage, strengthen and see how things were in different cities
That’s where the comparison to Paul ends
Anyway, during our short time of connection, Porch Night came up
The brothers asked about some of the men from Annapolis and shared some of the new friends in their lives
They also both shared about desiring Porch Night where they are
Made me think a little more about what Porch night actually is…so, here goes a few thoughts
You can’t explain it or invent a chapter…you just need to be there
Not a program-different every time, every place, no schedule or curriculum
Safe place to be yourself
What’s said here, stays here
A place to be, not to impress others
Time to live in the present for as long as it lasts
Words like:
Open
Honest
Talk
Listen
Available
Real
Laughter
Would describe some of our gatherings
The only question I have as I walk out to my porch to be with the guys is to ask God, “what direction do You desire our time to go?”
My only prayer before we gather is, “God, bring who you desire to be here.”
Then we start ‘er up
I felt a little bit like Paul, travelling as a missionary to encourage, strengthen and see how things were in different cities
That’s where the comparison to Paul ends
Anyway, during our short time of connection, Porch Night came up
The brothers asked about some of the men from Annapolis and shared some of the new friends in their lives
They also both shared about desiring Porch Night where they are
Made me think a little more about what Porch night actually is…so, here goes a few thoughts
You can’t explain it or invent a chapter…you just need to be there
Not a program-different every time, every place, no schedule or curriculum
Safe place to be yourself
What’s said here, stays here
A place to be, not to impress others
Time to live in the present for as long as it lasts
Words like:
Open
Honest
Talk
Listen
Available
Real
Laughter
Would describe some of our gatherings
The only question I have as I walk out to my porch to be with the guys is to ask God, “what direction do You desire our time to go?”
My only prayer before we gather is, “God, bring who you desire to be here.”
Then we start ‘er up
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Finding a Place
About 50 yards out the door of the condo here is a nice little inlet where the local boats dock
It was ten pm
Lit up a stogie
Laid flat on my back
Looked up at the stars
Took in the slight breeze
Started Van Morrison on the Ipod
Some Peace of Mind was playing
Kept hitting replay
Found a place
Could have stayed for hours
Not sure how long I did
Time meant little
Peace reigned supreme
The downshift continues
It was ten pm
Lit up a stogie
Laid flat on my back
Looked up at the stars
Took in the slight breeze
Started Van Morrison on the Ipod
Some Peace of Mind was playing
Kept hitting replay
Found a place
Could have stayed for hours
Not sure how long I did
Time meant little
Peace reigned supreme
The downshift continues
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